Give her what you didnt give me

I am so mad at myself. I promised myself I would never fall in love again because I will just get hurt. And now I'm sitting here again crying because you made me believe your lies. But its my fault. I knew this would happen. It always does. I hope she breaks your heart before you break hers. Because I would hate for her to live the way I do. Even though I hate seeing you treat her better than you ever treated me I would hate for her to live the rest of her life in fear if getting hurt and you have the power to do that to someone. I will never forget the pain my heart felt when you put your fist to my face. Or when you told me you loved me and then I seen you with someone else. I will never ever forgive you. Im not angry you left me though. That was probably the best thing you ever did for me. Because it was then I realized how better I am without you. I'm angry that you treat the people closest to you the worst and how selfish you are. I hate you for who you are not what you did. So stop trying to apologise. Never apologize for who you are. If you have to apolagize for who you are then better yourself and treat this girl like the princess you should have treated all the girls you hurt before like. And whatever you do dont ever snort a line whe. You are around her. You will ruin everything.