I'm thinking of transferring
(I don't mind people replying to this 
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I've been thinking of transferring schools for a while now. I'm not sure if you read my post here before, but there I expressed that going through college is just plain tiring right now and it's draining the absolute life out of me.
I don't know when this all started. It's a big risk, since I wanna transfer to a school abroad (I'll take the necessary precautions of course, and the school I'm looking at is conducting online remote classes anyways, so I could take them from wherever I am — essentially the thing I'm worried about is the cost). I think I'm just in desperate need of a restart. Being in the school I am right now seems like an endless cycle, and I feel quite robotic at this point. Not to say the school I'm in right now isn't good, the school is honestly very nice and prestigious where I'm from. It's unfair for me to say that it my current school's fault that I'm feeling this way — and if I'm blaming this on anything, it might be the system. Plus, I think this is more of a me problem more than anything.
I feel like I need a new start. I don't see myself getting anywhere if I stay in this school. That said, I am still afraid. The school I'm eyeing is a big one, and I'll have to work hard to get there. And that's not the only school — I'm just willing to transfer to anywhere else just so I can get a new start somewhere. I'm constantly meeting dead ends at this school. I've searched for a sign to stay countless times (even before we shifted to online classes because of the pandemic). I wanted a reason to stay — a reason why I'm at this school in particular. As a sophomore, I still haven't found it yet. My fellow coursemates and my friends have though. I know it's bad to compare, but it gets demotivating since I feel like I'm getting nowhere.
Like I said earlier, I have no idea where the idea of transferring came from. I just woke up one day and started searching up programs from other schools. And now that I'm typing all this out, it feels daunting. I haven't even talked to my parents about this yet. It's just a thought lingering at the back of my mind.
A part of me says I'm giving up on the school I'm in. I'm still a sophomore. If I stay a bit longer, maybe that sign will arrive — but it's come to a point where I can't even picture myself in the future. Another part of me says that "wanting a new start" isn't a good enough reason to transfer. I ended up in this college where I'm currently studying, so I should finish what I started here. I don't know. I feel like sometimes I just make up these excuses because transferring to another school — one that's abroad, at that — is just a really big thing and I'm afraid of it.
I'll finish this semester first then I'll think about it more.
Finishing the semester and taking time to think about things is probably the best choice. It sounds as though, from your description, it isnt really the school at all, but maybe some personal things you need to work out for yourself and suddenly transferring would only add to your stresses and concerns.
Take things one at a time and you will find the right path for you, it just takes time.
@Aero86 Yeah, I don't think it's fair to blame to school for how I feel. It's a good school. That said, sometimes I feel like I wouldn't be thinking this way if the pandemic never happened. If I were still on campus, taking physical classes — I have a feeling I'd be in a much better mindset.
I think this idea of transferring just came from me looking for a new start. Like I mentioned, I feel like I'm arriving at a dead end in this school. It's just an idea right now, and honestly I don't know if I'll actually push through with it. I'll just see how this semester goes, but so far I'm not really doing that great (academically and mentally).
Thanks for this message, though. I appreciate your advice, I think I might just be overthinking this so I'll have to take it one step at a time.
