Journal

I think I need to be more honest, especially in therapy. Specifically I've seen some therapists in the past, but I've never brought up the thoughts I'm worried about. I think about a lot of people in ways I feel very uncomfortable with. I'm also very uncomfortable with the idea of talking about the thoughts with people because I'm afraid that they won't understand. I don't completely understand what's behind the thoughts, because I'm too scared of what anyone, even therapists would think of me. I've spent the past two hours searching online for a way to see if I have OCD or not, because I want to have an explanation for my thoughts. I should sleep, I've stayed up for a ridiculous amount of time now. It's just that maybe if I keep searching, maybe I'll find what's going on? Eh... I think I'm kinda rambling here which makes sense cause I'm tired.