Lost on where to go.
Hmm what's on my mind...what isn't on my mind in these days. I'm a pretty high strung kind of person. A million situations play out in my mind which brings me down. Life seems to enjoy kicking me down quote often and I'm honestly out of strength. Been Diabetic most of my life, just found out my pet is as well and you d think it would bring me a degree of something...maybe something to compare to but my pet won't let me help him and he's been wrecking the house. With my SO always at work the house tends to fall apart quite quickly. Kicked off my day well enough until I went to clean and had a break down. I got told I don't do enough around the house. My part time job doesn't pay as much as her full time job does but I try to contribute through other means. I feel like I'm seen as this terrible monster when I get upset but when I bring these up in a less aggressive manner it just gets ignored. Am I wrong for feeling angry? Am I supposed to push myself harder? I'm constantly drained, I feel like I'm out of options and slowly driving me crazy. Constant bad luck haunts me at every turn with much of it being out of my control. Do I stop caring? If I do will there be blow back from it? Everything is too uncertain for me considering I'm constantly running thoughts through my head all day. I've tried to cope and I feel like my negativity overpowers my efforts. Has anyone else felt this way? I don't know but definitely feel like I'm fighting this alone right now.
@Ineverwin yes, people like to step on you and make you a limp rag at their mercy so your anger is important in defending yourself and make you heard. And yes, stopping caring dehumanises you and create a monster and a bad person...I feel for you and your dog, destiny makes a sort that pets match theirhuman friends...stand up for yourself and have more self confidence and do not let yourself be trampled on or diminish your worth...i feel you and you are not alone...I am angry for your situation too...
@Butterflee Thank-you for you sympathies. It's difficult to find that delicate balance most times. I used to be someone who wanted to help those less fortunate and had a chance to take a career in a field where I could help youth. After growing up a little more over the years I still feel for them but at the same time I'm left with that question "Why should I care?" I personally believe it's human nature to feel that way. I hated taking medication to suppress these feelings...it didn't make me feel like me. Is pur world really this caught up in self gratification? The need to one up everyone? I'm not or ever was interested in that sort of stuff. I'm a recluse by nature now because I'd hope to avoid whatever is waiting to dish me some of that bad luck and it still makes it into my home. There has to be some way to get the message across that this isn't just someone being angry. It's someone trying to speak up after so many deaf ears have ignored my pain. Again, thank-you for taking the time to listen.
@Ineverwin i have ears for you and understand...