Meh
I used to crave friendship and belonging. Used to think there was a lack of good enough people around. So I felt lonely.
Now that I know there is an abundance of people who'd be happy to have me around, it turns out I am the one unfit for friendship. This loneliness is going to be eternal, I suppose.
I feel beyond repair.
@idk1201
Ah I'm sorry you're struggling with loneliness it really feels hopeless to keep trying to hold on with this one, I understand!
What makes you feel unfit for friendships? if you feel comfy to share :)
Appreciate the offer but maybe some other time.☺✌
@idk1201 Hi. You had one idea, you found out it was not true. Now you have a second perspective and it is your “truth.” But you’re not really comfortable with this new perspective. Is this second perspective necessarily true? It’s been said that loneliness can happen when alone and in a large group, so it’s not dependent on other people 100%. Your observation seems to align with that finding. But the research on loneliness didn’t just say, well that is that. There may be an answer for you if you look into this a little further.
Well, got to say, that was insightful to read.
I think the problem is my inability to process the colours of human interactions and subsequent bonds and relationships. This mind of mine always seem to see everything in black and white. Either it has to be all good and happy or it is all bad and nothing good can happen. Either I am all alone or I am surrounded by friends. There is no in-between. I think that is where the truth lies. The line in the middle with all the extremes on either side. I am struggling to see the colours, the "truth" is painted in.
I think the answer lies in how comfortable is one being by themselves. If there is discomfort, that does not necessarily translate to loneliness. I was making the blunder of doing exactly that. Loneliness, I believe, does not mean absence or presence of people. It means how much one is comfortable with his own company. I think the only cure to loneliness is solitude.
@idk1201 Hi. Your description of it being either black or white made me think of autism. I don’t know that much about it, and it is described as a spectrum disorder which I think means someone might have a small or large degree of autism. I myself sometimes can be very black and white on certain things and earlier in my life I kind of thought I might be happier as a hermit. People can be hard to read, and sometimes it makes it difficult to connect. I found when I got to know myself better, to be more comfortable in my own skin, that it was easier to interact with others. I don’t know if anything I’ve said helps, but I just wanted to encourage you to investigate further because my ability to navigate the social world improved in surprising and good ways. Stay open and curious to learning about yourself and your experience.
It helped enough... ☺✌
Much appreciated.
I always crave deep friendship too but I'm way to picky about the people who get access to me which makes it hard for me to form connections. For me it's there or it's not there just like what you said there's no in between and I only found 3 connections in my entire adult life, all of them got destroyed, those people left me the common denominator 'me' because I always wanted them to be perfect and non-changing. I guess we're the same on this, we always work hard to make these friendship perfect that we forget to be who we are and our friends just to be who they are so it just fall out because of our very high expectations