Message in a bottle
22/04/2016 (21:14)
Journal Entry #1
So I've had a thought of a message in a bottle approach to starting something unexpected with a female, I have written a piece to her and it will go in a botlle and soon the ocean, if it finds her (and yes I'm well aware it may not find anyone) but if it does, may it show me that I'm taken whole heartedly for who I am and not taken for granted as I have been in the past on near every step in a relationship I've had which only numbers 4 in my known life.
@InkStainedFingers - I would like to understand better. If you say journal entry #1, does that mean you are going to post more journal entries? Are they going to be about this one message you plan to put in a bottle and then into the ocean or are you going to post several messages that can go into bottles? Is this something you are going to continue to do on your own or was your idea that other people should also post messages they would like to put in bottles ready to go to the ocean?
@Chiaroscuro1
I have thought about just continuing as more journal enteries not specific to the message in a bottle but it will be featured I'm sure again at some point as I think and wonder how its journey is going. I'm not sure if I should continue in this thread or to create number 2, 3 and so on in their own threads.
@InkStainedFingers - Thank you for explaining. It is of course your choice as to how you want to continue with this. Personally I would like it if you continue with your posts here. That will give it context and make it easy to follow. But that's just about me. Please do what is right for you. You could maybe also think about sharing it in your feed if you feel so inclined.
30/04/2016 (19:27)
Journal Entry #2
Today is the hardest day I will ever encounter and will have lived through and have memory of, even though I'm withdrawn, crying and talking to myself so I can make at least a few more in roads into my recovery, I am happy with where I am in life, I know it's not exactly where I thought I'd be as a teenager, yet this circumstance has shaped me considerably and I'm able to accept it.
I often wonder who with and where I'll find my actual life starting the journey not of the individual but of a duo, a partner in crime matching, inside intimacy and shenanigans and as this/a strengthening bond flourishes it will do so in the direction it chooses much the same as the message in a bottle that I hope still is floating to her wherever she resides, these thoughts gain momentum more and more it seems not because I'm lonely, even though I reside alone, they they do so because of the trust, love and admiration I have and want to give, that waits for that woman to cross my path, which will allow me to show her these feelings she feels are allowed to be unleashed and that she can be herself because we both accept and are invested in each other.
Glad you have had relationships. Hope they have not made you too bitter. So many have been through rough relationships. In my journey, I am questioning my own vulnerabilities. If I tell someone I'm really scared they head for the hills and do not try to alleviate my distress. I have to get it into my thick head that this is not what a friend does. I'd love to know what goes wrong in other people's relationships. On the other hand, if it's always the same thing that goes wrong then that can be a totally different thing to have to deal with and accept. Are there people on this site who feel they are strong? If so why do they and how do I adapt some of their strength to my own. What was their thinking that led them to become so strong? Anyway, not all relationships work out to be the Princess or Prince Charming that you want. So many things can go wrong it's crazy.
@versatileHuman2456
I totally agree with everything you've said, this thought wasn't about anything recent relationship wise, it was about the specific circumstance that happened to me 20 years ago that was extremely traumatic in nature, of which I find hard to speak, yet it will always play a part in every thought as it shaped me in many ways. The second paragraph is essentially me asking myself and anyone really if it is possible if I keep forgiving myself and those that did me harm will she find me, will I find her, will we find each other, when will these all start or have they already, these many circular in nature and common thoughts are all due and because of these metaphoric walls I've put up.