Modal0154: journal open to replies
Previously I was 'Polaris2088'.
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That one episode of Pokemon where Ash's Chimchar becomes a Monferno, does that fist combination and the lack of reaction from Paul?--me trying to impress my boss at work.
That thespian like tone in Spanish
When you worry about winter weather offputting appointments.
I swear, when my brother played Lil'Wayne's 'Lollipop' on the guitar years ago, it could pass for something being played at a Renaissance fair.
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Glass sounds good even on a guitar:
not sober dad.
nsd
Years ago, I took some free trial martial arts classes and when it came to boxing, for 'drills' we paired up (there were maybe a bit more than a dozen ppl in the gym) and mainly kept to a tight circle while practising strikes.
..
that feeling..esp. given that 'drill' being done by everyone in the class while paired up..that close quarter physical combat feeling, of how it's essentially a gang like confrontation..in hindsight it's quite jarring and I can imagine how historically it was usually more jarring when for centuries it has usually meant cold weapons/white arms instead of, or usually without a combination of firearms.
Reality v. expectations
The media doesn't help when it comes to sex or the depictions of relationships..me personally, I find De Botton helpful..consider the theoretical ideal of living in consistent romantic ectasy after being married and how painfully punishing it can be when that expectation is not meet.
..long tangent on romantic movies aside, long tangent on romantic movies aside..when it comes to 'dating shows'...I like to think that stuff done on say 'Jubilee' and 'the skin deep' is an improvement over the TV shows from the 90's to mid-10's but I am aware of cautious of potential contrivances that come even before the editing.
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I think that what I'm trying to say, is how the image of dating being a 'game' for ppl who 'have their s--t together, only for ppl who have their s--t together' and can viably have their youth fetishized, their successed fetishized..
..is deeply delimiting and disempowering form of entertainment, form of media for like every pool of +10,000 or such that a single dating show contestant represents
..is reality too crushingly disappointment to 'entertain' that?..or is it to 'tedious' or 'boring'?*.
*b/c see, the latter is not the same as the former
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That perspective drawing course online instead of the 'Art academy:lessons for everyone' 2DS game I have.
@Modal0154
..potentially on a scale of hundreds of males in an area.
[addendum to the part before reality v. expectations]
Depressing is going through the 'downtown core' mall region, I need to pass through at least once every week.
@Modal0154
Also thinking about how many from the first high school I went to became contributors to the 'East end' demographic without triggering myself via wandering on Facebook for information.
Let me say this right now while the thought isn't so d--n elusive--there is a certain tendency in my mind to self-sabotage myself hours before seeing a counselor. There is a certain tendency in my mind to self-sabotage myself hours after seeing a counselor.
After explaining a source of 'laughing at Caucasian ppl
"I feel sorry for white people" smilingly said by a therapist who had conspicously Caucasian ft's.
Lavender paint, Viridian green(?) paint and black paint.
@Modal0154
black first then (i) one brush for green and (ii) one brush for lavender.
Those 'uber eats' commercials with the fellow Randy Watkins, attempting to make the company seem 'down to earth' by coming off as a convenient and great idea to experience food diversity while being accessible to 'common people', annoys me as someone who has reservations* about eating out most of the time.
*ironic pun, not intended
Meh, doubting and not minding if Todd doesn't put up a 'best songs of '19' anytime any more..as for Suede though..I expect 'update' vids from them both though..
As much as I like him as an online video reviewer*, I discontinued watching his videos sometime at the end of '18 b/c I was finding what he was saying increasingly irrelevant as I followed hip-hop less and less.
* Daren Jackson/'the rap critic'/'Masta artisan' and from what a remember once a bone fife music teacher as well
~'NFKRZ' vids on Russia..anticipation for Paul Barbados vid..
