Modal0154: journal open to replies
Previously I was 'Polaris2088'.
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That one episode of Pokemon where Ash's Chimchar becomes a Monferno, does that fist combination and the lack of reaction from Paul?--me trying to impress my boss at work.
The 'addiction' pt. of my exercise addiction stems from..
(i)the insistence to verify a definite 20 minutes minimum having been reached each day..
(ii) the fixation to use videos and how 'lost', I am w/out them. Interest weans quickly w/out a kindly guiding voice as I know very little about properly working out muscles and the justifications behind them before the demotivation of cocky, scowly faced, indifference and judgement from a--holes past and imagined appear.
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Nicer folks might call it 'an obsession'..
@Modal0154
i) I really like having routines too, feeling like I have a set goal and I'm meeting my goal and doing what I've set out to do. Just having something that I feel is reliable, will work, that I can stick to and feel confident that I'm doing something positive.
ii) I can completely understand the reasons you've given for the videos being something helpful.
a) Wanting some reassurance that you're doing things properly and that what you're doing is the right way to do it
b) Wanting something to drown out a lot of past voices and associations with exercise that feel judgmental or like they don't fit with the kind of person that you are/want to be. Wanting to find a way of associating with exercise that is kind, gentle, and something you feel comfortable identifying or connecting with.
~3 days until 'higher-up' confrontation .. ._. ..
I wonder when will the next time I will play 'rewritten imaginary high school timetables' be?.
..=_=..seriously losing sleep over this whole 'anticipation for assertiveness to higher-up' stuff..
Go to gallery(?)..
My dad wasn't sober yesterday night.
The 'my kinda lover' part is titular Billy Squier song is so d--n catchy.
The 'two set' violin duo ought to play 3D printed violins for a video.
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I don't know how to feel about having watched 'American splendor'. I don't know if I should regret having watched 'American splendor'.
Harvey Prakrit had a jarring voice, Paul Giamatti's take had a jarring voice. It was a meaningful voice though not like terrifying posturing of Alex Jones.
'Constructive criticism' =_=..
@Modal0154
'Dilbert' was the satire of the corporate cubicle culture and I remember collecting it along w/other newspaper comics during the earlier pt. of the mid-00's as a hobby.
'Adam @ home'
=_= How the frig is it that substantial, consistent online work is still so elusive?..was that newspaper comic 'ahead of it's time' or did the reality of internet culture 'tank it' this decade?..
Mean to seek a conversation w/a listener later. Mean to seek a meaningful conversation w/a listener later.