My Poker/Life Blog

I was a professional online poker player for over 10 years but I had many issues (borderline personality disorder etc) and I gambled my money away on other casino games as well as trading and spending frivolously, ending with nothing to show for it

Now it is the online world championships and I have a small bankroll of £375 which a friend very kindly lent me

I have been through a major crisis over the last 2-3 years. I am 38 years old now and have nothing, more or less

I want to start a new life, maybe in South Africa but in order to do that I need to get some money together. I am not qualified to do any job except min wage job and my work history and CV is non-existent

I intend to work my a** off for the next 20 days at online poker. Probably playing a minimum of 12 hours per day every single day. It's just 20 days, right? I can do it. After that, I shall prob never play the game again. This is my last hurrah.

If you are not familiar with poker, it is a gambling game which also includes a lot of skill and it is played against other people, not the casino. This is important because games played against the casino are impossible to win at in the long run. My weakness has been slot machines. I have wasted far too much money on those, which brings me to the reason for this blog.

I want to record my progress here for the next 20 days. If I play slots, I am doomed.

I want to hold myself accountable. I was a skilled poker player, hopefully still am, although I haven't played much in the last 18 months. If I stick to poker, there is a good chance I will be successful. The next 20 days will be a lot of hard work but I want to put maximum effort in. Head down and work hard, while I still have the chance.

You might think, why here? Well, my biggest obstacle is that little addict voice that says, "have a quick go on slots". If I start that, then it will all be for nothing. So, in effect, I am in the rather paradoxical position of playing poker for my living whilst avoiding the pitfalls of gambling addiction.

I have been very depressed, suicidal and had many, many mental struggles throughout my life. My family are long gone. I have 1 friend. I have nothing else, essentially. This is my quest for a brand-new life...