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Not sure how to title this - Rant

User Profile: HerWhispers
HerWhispers April 9th, 2014

I'm sorry for the wall of text.

For the past few months, my anxiety has gotten worse, and so has my depression.

I recently was kicked from the apartment I was staying in because the two people I was staying with had decided to move into a smaller apartment, and that I couldn't come. A friend of mine and her family offered to let me stay with them until I can get a new job, and get on my feet. Right now though, we're crammed into two seperate hotel rooms, 5 people in each room at any given time. There's 10 of us overall.

I'm currently 23 years old. Half of the people here are children, the other half adults(including me). The children are a tad violent, and rarely actually listen to their mom or grandmother. One of my biggest fears right now is that my friend is going to change her mind and decide that I can't stay with them any more. I don't really have anywhere else to go if that does happen, so it's really scary to think about.

At this point, I spend most of my time quiet and on my laptop to minimize any possible risk of me doing something to upset anyone, as to minimize any risk of them telling me to leave. I do whatever I can possibly to pull my weight so that they actually want me around. Another thing adding to my anxiety and depression would be the fact that I'm Transgender, and I'm constantly really uncomfortable in my own skin.

I have a difficult time finding jobs at this point, and an even harder time keeping them. I get really uncomfortable around people, and I'm easily upset and offput. Generally if I have any kind of negative encounter with someone, I start to withdraw subconsciously and end up feeling constantly anxious around them, making keeping a job around them very difficult.

Right now I'm not really sure what to do. I've had a lot of my old urges resurfacing and pushing me to relapse into them, but I'm trying my very hardest to avoid letting that happen.

2
April 9th, 2014

Hello, HerWhispers. I am so sorry that you are struggling so much. I can't say that I know what you are going through, but I can say that I understand. I understand how hard it must be to deal with such a stressful situation like this with the addition of anxiety and everything else you are having to deal with concurrently. I really appreciate you writing here. I hope that it helped at least a little bit to get everything out.

As always, we are here to support you. If you'd like to start a chat with a listener pleasedo. We are here for you.

User Profile: reservedexcitment
reservedexcitment July 7th, 2016

@HerWhispers sorry to hear and life is unfair and sucks, i have been having issues at work too, with all my apo8ntments, there are rumors going around, and its noepne of their buisness to know that i am attendinf treatmennts for my mentsl health issues. I guess me ranting abour the same thing