Open to any replies:A diary of Polaris2088

...the c--y failings of find solace in 'other instituitions (religion--Catholicism specifically)...the validation of an autistic spectrum disorder diagnosis at ~19-20 yrs of age after being what I was put through at the non-postsecondary phase..

*~13-ish misguided yrs of the latter 7-8 having been mispent on the oft-glorified seldom actually demonstrated b/c of it's rarity world of science based careers..

*will tell chronology one day

..failing at IT phase, arguable 'break' and a fun one in 'liberal arts' phase..thinking I would become a 'good cog' after going through an office admin program..the ugliness of social dynamics so thin and self-deceptive which keep entire sectors of industry operating which I expected to operate w/in but my toddler like sense of self-confidence is bloody dehabilitating despite what the more hateful kind of Hamiltonians and their indifference think..

Do I wish I was competent in some IT if not borderline computer science capacity at a library?. Yes, I do but the position I hold is d--n plum as is my exam invigilating 'gig'..

Need rest...need own space...afforable, long-term, responsible to live around, feasible..

Too much to ask from this dumb local lot...7.5+ billion and I can use the 'fallacy of relative privation'/'compare and despair' to guilt myself (w/out Catholicism =_= ..

..no one makes things easy for you, evne if your a minimalist..to many jacka-- can't be made into beleiving that w/scarcity abounding ppl w/out addictions or even families can live..

'hermitage'..'hermitage' and the capacity for self-healing..the 'purpose'/cause of that seclusion esp. via quality solitude and meditation..

..just around the corner but nary anyone 'w/out any strings' can supply..

Not liking the sound effects while chatting w/listeners..