Remaining Soft in a Hard World

People often call me childish.

They say it because I talk passionately about my hobbies, play games, get excited over the smallest things, and wear my emotions openly. I cry easily, laugh loudly, and find joy in simple moments. To many people, these things are signs of immaturity.

Sometimes, when I become emotional, people ask me, "Are you a child or something?"

What surprises me even more is how proudly some people call themselves "heartless." They justify it by saying that this is what society demands that if you want to survive or fit in, you have to stop caring so much. They tell me, "You're still a child. You won't understand."

But I always think the same thing:

I would rather remain a child than become someone my seventeen year old self would hate.

I refuse to believe that growing up means becoming cold, indifferent, or emotionally distant. If society expects me to lose my kindness, curiosity, excitement, and empathy just to fit in, then perhaps fitting in is not something I want.

Society is far from perfect. I know there are many things wrong with it. But instead of changing myself to match everything that is wrong, I would rather try whatever little I can, to change those wrong things.

I want to keep feeling deeply. I want to stay excited about small joys. I want to care, to love, to create, and to remain soft in a world that often rewards hardness.

And if that makes me childish, then maybe being childish is not such a bad thing after all. This is first step to that little change I want to bring.