Unhealthy thoughts

Sorry i need to write these somewhere I had a meeting today. I didnt talk much and the moment I did the other members felt disturbed by it. They didnt know how to react. Everytime i talk since the previous meetings, somehow it always results to silence or confusion in other people. They have a hard time knowing how to respond to me. I also look down a lot instead of to the camera. I want to get along with everyone and build better relationships with them, but somehow i have so many ideas and need to tell everyone about it. But it always end up confusing and too intense for everyone. Just now my brother said he rly likes junk food. My first instinct was to turn it down bc junk food is bad for him. I didnt react the way he wanted me to react. I looked down, grinned, and went along the lines of "well...". I tried to make it up by asking him what junk food he likes or what he wants to order next time. He didnt want to engage in the conversation. Every little socializing mistakes I make drive me crazy. I was nominated for the "too try hard" student in middle school. I was also always told that the way i try to get along with people is too "try hard". A lot of people deflect from me very quickly after a short chat. Im fully aware but at the same time there's nothing i can do about it. It's torture. I know I should be ok with being independent but it's painful to know that everyone can enjoy company and proper relationships while u dont. The toxic thoughts just keep cycling through.