Word vomit, I guess
Kind of a slow day, I guess. Got back from Chicago, so it's good to sleep in my own bed for once.
I'm starting to have apathy cree[ back up on me. I mean, not like from depression, I guess, but sometimes I find myself thinking "none of this matters" or "what's the point" or "why bother:. I'll be dead in 60-70 years, so why should I care?
It's actually helped me enjoy my life a little bit more. But I honestly thin it is a double edged sword. With those positive thoughts, I sometimes find negative ones. Like if I'm worth anyone's time, or if I'm doing things right, or if I'm missing something.
Some days I feel so lost and confused in my life that I don't even know what I want out of it. I don't want to be rich and own a business, I don't want a family (at least not at the moment), I don't want a big house or an expensive car or anything. I don't even know where I'll be in the next 2 years, much less tomorrow. For all I know, I could die tomorrow and not even see it coming.
@Nick8876 - I think it's okay to not know what you want out of life right now - and frankly, even if you did know, it would probably change a million times between now and whenever you got there. Maybe a first step is just figuring out what would make you happy or fulfilled in the short term.