diary post

my husband pushed me in january, and i think i'm finally starting to process the abuse. i feel like i'm at a depression stage where i'm admitting to myself that idk if this will last.

i hate the way my heart and my head pull at each other.

in a way, as i'm typing this, idk i'm thinking he'll have to "work" to "earn" my love back (for lack of better words). not like in a manipulative way, but because i still want to be his friend. there was a lot of trauma behind his actions, that i understand. but to restore things, i should ask for more if that's what i want, if he wants me to be his wife and not just his friend.

no responses wanted, i just needed to process this even more.