in the wonders of my mind💗.

_{I made another friend from my new class. she used to just stare at me all the time so I thought she didn’t like me but she was just lonely because she switched here too :’)} 

_{I was thinking, maybe I should add a tw, so here I am xD there’s a mentioned um..object? that was used for an unaliving attempt. maybe the tw should have a tw what- this isn’t triggering right. and there’s also mentions of unaliving so} TW_🤍

_{the girl came today she had the funniest story about how she managed to not come yesterday} 

and I’ve been laughing all day because honestly with her I always am something funny always happens or one of us says something really funny and then we’re both crying laughing but when I laugh my stomach hurts more and it still hurts all the way till now 

im so confused no but really I come home and then I think about the day and I’m so confused because why am I having good days. and I don’t want to be so happy because I know the girls gonna make new friends and leave so easily and then I’ll relive year 7 year 7 was such a horrible year for me it was the year I just stood there with the knife for so long and well maybe I shouldn’t talk about it :’) 

I don’t know if anyone’s noticed but, I’ve been trying to not talk about the negativest of things😎I think I’m doing great/j

i don’t even remember what I was talking about before 

but yeah it was the first year I actually attempted- I had a full plan to when I was 7 but it was really stupid and how I thought and everything but when I was 10/11 that was when it got really bad year 7 was really really bad.

i went up to third floor, I’m gonna stay for a while but not too long I’m gonna leave at like 3:30 maybe and if not too many teachers are there I’ll take pictures of all the things they built cause it’s also for myself xD 

_{I had food given to me for school today. and I gave it all to my friend. she was really happy xD}

_{I might start going down now because I’m still gonna just go around so}

_{*temporarypoof*}

_{there were so many teachers I couldn’t}

_{i logged on somewhere else because one of our guests is having a call in my room and I put my bag in my room :’)} 

_{I have a presentation I need to get done. for moral ed}

_{I’m so tired. I’ve been sleeping right after school too much and it’s not a good habit I know} 

_{I have a french test tomorrow but it’s only a baseline for the teachers to know where we are as a class :p}

_{i feel so disappointing this year I’m having the same french teacher I had in year 7 and she loved me so much and she was like (nadia) is really good at french normally I think and then she made me read out my answers and I mean they were answered but not as good as I used to be I feel like every time my mind is on something or I learn something or something happens i forget everything else before} 

_{my lead teacher was yelling at me for so long today I just hate her she got the email from the teacher that helped me get to my class so that my lead teacher can help me get on my account}

_{and I told her how IT told me she had the passwords and everything I needed for my account and apps}

_{and she was like yeah and she said that yesterday I told her specifically that the problem was with the internet and that’s why she told me to go down to IT} 

_{but I swear :’) I could swear on everything a billion times it’s how sure I am. I swear I told her I remember I told her my device got reseted so my school accounts aren’t there anymore and I remember she asked me do you know any of the passwords and I said no and she asked why my ipad got reseted and I told her like I got locked out and we couldn’t access it and she was like okay in break go down to IT they’ll help you get your accounts back}

_{couldnt that day went the next they said my lead teacher has all of that I got lost and couldn’t find anyone a teacher found me and emailed my lead teacher literally just to help me access my account she didn’t lecture her for not doing her job properly}

_{but I walked in lead today and she wanted to talk so I went to her and I just stood there the whole time and she was like}

_{(nadia) okay this is unbelievable right now you’re making it appear as if I’m not doing my job properly} 

_{like you’re such a *** lead teacher I won’t like vent about it but she was yelling at me like she was my mom I hope she gets fired she’s just ruthless :’)} 

and I kept saying I’m sorry and that ill tell the teacher it was my mistake 

like should I tell her you’re an awesome lead teacher too

but for a long time she kept saying that I said the problem was my internet and I kept saying maybe she heard wrong or maybe she saw me raise my hand when she asked who had a problem with their device and maybe she assumed it was the internet from there but I kept saying that I definitely didnt say that and I knew she was getting madder the more I denied but I know I’m right I’m not just gonna be like yeah you’re totally right I did say that when I didn’t 

she gave up eventually and literally just got my accounts back so easy like it was never even that big of a deal

guests left I’m gonna go change and maybe sleep I’m really tired.

byebye.

_<3

_{in moral ed in like the middle of that lesson the teacher was spinning a name wheel and whoever it goes on would have to tell us the last time they were in conflict with someone and what happened and after some awkward people it landed on one guy and everyone started..yelling, talking, screaming, and um what I got out of it was ohhhh (I’m gonna call him n) n’s got a good one} 

_{and he said it was 30 minutes ago. (actually some people were yelling over him that it was like 30 minutes ago then he said it himself and went on so I guess other people were there) with someone in the class and they were in conflict because the person was being racist to them and everyone went crazy again and some people were yelling to say who it was and some were just laughing and some people were like oh well that got um..}

_{and then later after the teacher said that racism is taken really seriously in this school she made people raise their hands and say what they think n should do if he’s receiving racism} 

_{and one guy raised his hand and he looked at n and went "just don’t care" and the teacher picked someone else I don’t remember what they said and then another guy raised his hand and he went "I think he should either tell a teacher.." and everyone just starting cussing at him and it started with the guy that said just don’t care saying bro get a life}

_{and then he finished it with "or if you want to you can just punch him in the face" and everyone got excited again} 

_{there are physical fights happening already but really serious fights and it’s only the third day back}