ki's quiet place. 🩷
oh- hello! <3 this is just a place where i can freely write what's on my mind, sooo.. here i am :3 not sure if u wuld want to stick around, it might be a lil boring :') 💕 honestly, i just created this because my friend said sometimes, i needa be heard. and it's tru- people really do need to be heard! nobody gets better if they don't sy anything. 💗
replies are okei <3 i luv meeting new people :0
Nobody suffers alone, keep that in mind 🩷🥺
- ur one and only ki <3
well mom. are you happy? are you happy that you ruined my life, that you made me feel so much pain i don't feel a thing around you anymore? are you happy for never being there when i needed you the most? i hope you realise the hurt of your words when you called me an idiot. when you called me useless. when you said i will never amount to anything- and you're right.
"i love you so much" mhm.. i've learned not to trust your words. you know wht i also learned? to not look up at you and see you as a mother. because i can't do that anymore- i just see a woman i'm scared of. but maybe it's mutual, maybe you can't see me as a daughter anymore either.
why don't you care, mom? why don't you care that there's also a nine year old witnessing all this pain? why don't you care that she's scared to come home from school? she's so young, she's been seeing this for six years. why don't you care?
i'm trying to keep her safe, i'm trying to hold in my tears so i can stay strong for her. I want her to be happy and i want her to be able to say "i want to go home already." but instead, she's the one crying, screaming, begging for things to get better.
what am i going to do?
breathe. Ki. just breathe.
a list of sorries:
- i'm sorry i'm losing myself.
- i'm sorry i can never find the right words.
- I'm sorry for pretending.
- i'm sorry you had to find out the hard way.
- i'm sorry i couldn't save the Me that was so happy.
- i'm sorry i'm so difficult to deal with.
- I'm sorry i gave you everything so that there was nothing left of me.
- i'm sorry i thought that if i did that it would make you stay.
- I'm sorry for saying sorry but it's the one thing i'm used to saying.
- im sorry i didn't realised you cared until you didn't.
- i'm sorry i exist.
- I'm sorry i'm like this.
- I'm sorry I doubt everything.
- I'm sorry im scared.
- I'm sorry i loved you.
- i'm sorry i tried.
- I'm sorry for everything i did to you thinking it was right.
- I'm sorry for being so useless and idiotic.
- i'm sorry i lied to everyone by telling them i was fine.
- i'm just sorry.-
“what do you want to be when you grow up?”
dead.
inner Kiemi: “ahem. this thread is already so depressing-”
that's tru :')
“he moved on, but she couldn't.
he was in a relationship,
and she was in love.”
“it'll pass.”
when? I've been waiting..
