looking for coping strategies ...

In the lines of you cannot control others actions just how you respond to them i am trying to gather ..........tips or tricks or exercises to not let myself get triggered by others as much.

In my relationship my partner/ spouse has hearing issues long time working on loud machines not using ear protection etc........ He has avoided getting anything done about it as he sees hearing aids to only be for Old people not him.....he finally has an appointment this upcoming week but i fear he has let the damage go on too long .... and really hope that something can be done to help ....

His hearing has been a comes and goes thing and some days are better .... i use to chalk up the items he did as he must have misheard me etc ......but NOW realize there is a much bigger issue between not being able to hear well and NOT listening.

as we have other issues..... these relatively small annoyances should be easy to shake but they are increasingly becoming more of a problem.

example: we discussed a last of summer get together with friends from across our state i mentioned a few possible middle of the way places he nods his head....

then he says "OH i got it how about this place?" ( one i mentioned).......... i said ... "fine, look there i heard they had nice cabins there" ...... 2 minutes later he announces "they have some nice cabins there" ... i began to get frustrated and just asked if he had heard me say anything ...... he said yeah i heard you ....sometimes he says "Oh yeah that is what you just said ...." so he is aware he is doing this.

i told him the friends could NOT go on a specific weekend due to work ........ he starts to make reservations for that weekend ....... I should NOT get worked up .....but now i am ready to scream WTH is wrong with you? I feel it is HIS responsibility to say "excuse me did not hear what you said" etc instead of making me feel like yeah i heard just do not give a crap about anything you say.......

I do not want to sit and yell to make sure he heard ..... do not want to enunciate words etc.................... but this is frustrating....gets under my skin and then one or two small other annoyances blow up into a full fledged argument.

I spoke with family and friends most who will not deal with him for same reason and come to the conclusion ... I HAVE to find ways to deflate my being triggered into anger......

As he is often ready to just change subject ............. i am still aggravated and have a hard time being civil in next subject of conversation.

If anyone has advice or coping skills .... i walk away and count to 30 but that is not stemming my frustration anymore.