me against the world

This is how I've felt for as long as I can remember. Right now this is my only outlet, I'm feeling sad, lonely, unmotivated, and sick. I need help inside my head I'm screaming but I just don't care enough/ can't motivate myself to do anything. I've gotten better at hiding the way I feel, but I feel like I'm about to explode. All ofthese emotions just mashed up all together combined with the past I can't seem to get over and thefuture that I don't look forward to.All it takes is for me to just think and I want toburst into tears at literally any given moment. I just don't know what to do so i'm typing this so i don't lose control in front of everyone. I wish I didn't have to feel.