my journal: various subjects, opinionating, CW at times
The title explains itself.
If you're interested in the ramblings of a middle-aged man with chronic conditions who, at times, sees things a little too clearly for his own good, then read on.
Sometimes I get political, but it won't be all the time.
I don't mind comments in general but if you're going to differ with what I write, that's fine--as long as you can explain your position clearly & reasonably. Rants, shouting & general incoherence will be ignored or flagged, depending on the situation. Try to remember that not everyone else in this world holds your beliefs.
Every so often I may post art or snapshots of projects I'm working on.
If you're still interested after reading all the above, great. (I do wonder at how much time you have on your hands, though)
I gotta admit, Russell Crowe can act. He plays roles rather well for a Hollywood guy.
Crowe is a Brit, isn't he? Quite a few people from England (& Scotland?) have come over here in recent years & made a name for themselves...I wonder why. Is British cinema not a large enough market for all of them?
@slowdecline48 Australian. He is a good actor I agree!
The replacement phone came. It's the same make & model, but there is one difference: I don't have as much control over the apps as I did with the old one. Like I uninstalled the Amaz0n shopping app on the old phone & freed up a few MB of memory that way...with this one it's installed permanently. It cannot be erased.
I did, however, wipe its files & cache & disable it. Ditto for other apps I don't absolutely need...any I don't use & can be uninstalled, I knock out. Processor speed is more important to me than apps & bells & whistles.
Today's devices are made for passive consumers...the sheep who keep the global & national economies going, who chew their cuds while their data are sheared off them. I have never been such a creature. Nor will I ever be.
@slowdecline48 I do that with mine too. What can't be deleted I disable. I don't need to be tracked online or off 😅
And hey congratulations on the new phone! They actually delivered when they said they would! That's a surprise too!
@mytwistedsoul Who knew the insurance would actually prove to be useful? 😂
Yes indeed @mytwistedsoul
Sometimes the awareness of time hits suddenly, like a speeding freight train...all the old regrets & wounds crowd in, & the black fog roils through your brain.
Sooner or later there's always a night like that.
And there is no one in real life to talk to about it.
Sooooo tiiiirrredd....
@slowdecline48
Don't I wish... Gotta skip the java this morning. (Stomach was acting up last night) 😖
@slowdecline48 I'm sorry to hear that. That would be hard (it would suck) to deal with out in the sticks. Unless you got an outhouse or a porta potty. Did you decide what kind of shelter you want to put up while you're clearing trees?
More or less, yeah...
Havin' a rough morning right now... Currently I don't feel like eating much. Probably will nibble on something before 1000 hrs.
The human body is an absurd thing...an ambulatory meat bag which generates unceasing demands, blindly & senselessly.
As I've thought more than once, I would cheerfully ditch this worthless skin-sack if I could have my brain transplanted into some kind of cybernetic body. Having my consciousness--myself--uploaded into such a machine would be best of all, as I would never feel pain or hunger after that...& would effectively be immortal without the usual drawbacks...
I hope it rains today & tomorrow...we need it.
Tonight I'm a bit bummed out... I don't feel like I can really complain about it, given what's happening in the world right now. But then this has always been a world of sin & woe, as Churchill once said...
...getting the county Zoning dept to give a mailing address to my parcel will be difficult, I think. Gotta do that & everything else at the same time. So often I am tired out...
The one good thing I can say about today is I did a picture in ink...pen & wash.
@slowdecline48 It's a big mess right now. Funny how I sit and worry about people I've never met and hope that they're alright.
For the rain, not yet.
There isn't necessarily a lot working against me, just bureaucracy. The county does not assign addresses to raw land, which is what I have. In order to have an address it has to have a structure or evidence that a structure will he built there within a certain period of time, etc. Like I said, bureaucratic bulls***. I just have to find a way around it.
Sustained a minor injury today...a gash on my foot. It was one of those dumb moves we all do sooner or later, no matter how safety-conscious (or not) we are. Figuring I'll be MIA for two days at least. Hopefully I'll heal up soon enough to get substantial work done before June. The days are too phucking hot already.
Remember, folks: be careful when using basic hand tools &/or when cutting wood.
More rain is coming for sure. Good.
Spent most of the day inside my truck, like a hermit crab in his shell. Speaking of invertebrates, my hand speed is improving or maybe I'm learning their flight patterns...I smashed two flies in 15 minutes. Since then no more have flown inside the truck. For now, that is.
I'll figure it all out & get it all done somehow, some way. In the meantime, when it starts pouring outside I'm shuttin' the windows.
Maybe two more days of this...then sunlight & heat will return.
How is it you can do nothing but lay around, post stuff online & sleep, then wake up & you're tired?... Chronic illness. That's the f***ing secret.
....on the bright side, surely my foot/toe is healed halfway by now.
One place I haven't been to: the local public library in town. Seriously doubt it has decent book inventory... However it's gotta have other features like a roof, A/C, outlets to plug my phone & laptop into, well-lit tables I can do work on. Indoor-type work, which I'm not set up for out here. Certainly it would help in getting a mailing address assigned to my property. Will have to check it out tomorrow.
May 12th Edit: Yep, the local library has features I can use. Plus it's quiet...for now. (No doubt it won't be as peaceful when the schools let their savages out for summer vacation) I can charge my laptop & phone there...could even do my art, though I'll have to keep it G-rated for obvious reasons.
If I time it right, I could even use the bathroom to wash up. 😃
I cannot speak for everyone in my generation...I certainly can't speak for any millennial or those born into the generations thereafter. What I can say is this:
I haven't forgotten that Scott Weiland died far, far too soon.
*******
You were one of the best singers to emerge in the late 20th century, sir...if only you'd gotten the right help, to avoid the drugs. If only.
For those of you who don't know of Weiland, the Wiki article is here...there is also an official website dedicated to him.
...phucksticks.
I was gonna get something to eat & then drive north to pick up a prescription...now I'm having a flareup. Not the worst I've ever been through but it's enough. 🤦🏼♂️
Currently I don't trust myself to drive anywhere. Only thing left to do is lie down, wait for it to pass & hopefully the truck won't heat up too much in the sun. (It is nice & breezy today)
I hate chronic sh!t.
Edit: finally managed to drive into town & get breakfast, then run other errands. Am currently in the town where I was before moving to my land...will drive back tomorrow, or later tonight.
I need to have my choice of pharmacy relocated to one closer to home. Ditto for choice of GP doc. Something else to work on... 😒
...tired & a bit depressed tonight.
Got a few more things done today.
I need gas cans...two of 'em. One for the saw & genny; one for the truck.
I get so tired sometimes...