waffle town

welcome to waffle town where we never smile.
feel free to comment. no you don't have to read the whole thing of course. i know i write a lot, maybe too much.

(yes i made a new thread. the old one was making me uncomfortable)

Song lyric of the day:
Get a load of this monster
He doesn't know how to communicate
His mind is in a different place
Will everybody please give him a little bit of space
Get a load of this train-wreck
His hair's a mess and he doesn't know who he is yet

favorite song of the day:
Faust- Gorillaz

today i made some progress by talking to some new people, which my anxiety usually gets in the way of. but i was really unproductive, i did no homework and i wasted the day. my room is getting messier and messier like me. there is an ever growing pile of clothes and i haven't done laundry in too long but i don't have the energy. i guess the only things i have energy for are 7 cups and low effort video games and eating.

it's currently 2 am and i wish i could just let myself sleep. i guess i'm afraid of starting another day and i'd rather just pause. if i fall asleep then the next thing is waking up and i don't want to do that. i know that doesn't make sense. tomorrow will be worse if i don't sleep, but in my mind it will come later and the farther away the better. i wish i could slow everything down.

also it was a really bad day for dysphoria. it's always constant at school but today was just worse. i wore my binder for 12 hours because of it and now my back and chest hurt. once i get home from school i usually have a mini temporary euphoria boost which is nice until i realize i don't pass as well as i think i do. somewhat unrelated but i have to pick a new name but i'm having trouble with that.

and i had some anxiety in chem today. more fidgety than usual and i'm always super fidgety in that class.

self-reminder: drink water. also paint your nails tomorrow

that's all for today folks. if you do reply you can refer to me as waffles, he/him. sorry if sentences are scrambled or something doesn't make sense i'm sleep deprived