Entry 19 - This is scary

I'm at the threshold of some new things, I just need to walk into them. I need to trust that I can do this, and that I am prepared! But that's really scary, because it's not all in my hands. All I can do is try my hardest, and even then there are no guarantees!

My day job isn't giving me enough hours. My first doctor's appointment with my new PCP isn't until September! I haven't seen my kids IRL for almost a year!! All of these things (and plenty more) are breaking my heart, and I'm so scared and anxious...

But I also know I'm in the space between things. An energy reader on YouTube calls it "void space", this place between two existences. It's both thrilling and exhausting to be here. I don't know what's coming, so I have to keep reminding myself that it's okay not to know.

I feel myself meeting the challenge. I will do this scared if that's what it takes! I will meet the world with the fiercest paint on my face! I will embrace this world's possibilities, and I'll keep moving forward!

I'm sorry to say I've spent too long being comfortable with quiet suffering. Today I continue working to make my dreams a reality, to make myself a beautiful home for myself and my forged family. I'll hold myself in my own arms, and I'll cry into eternity if that's what it takes to be happy again - big fat wet tears of joy and pain (hopefully more of the former).

I can do this! I can do this! I can do this! I can do this I can do this I can do this I can do this I can do this I can do this I can do this!

GOOD LUCK TO EVERYONE IN THEIR OWN VOID SPACES! MUCH LOVE 💕