Eva’s Crazy Mind
i’ve wanted to make a forum post like that for quite a while now, but never brought myself to actually make it. here i will write up all sorts of thoughts and vents, everything i need to get off my mind. it’s not gonna be positive or motivational, not even close. i personally don’t recommend reading it just because it doesn’t help lol. you’re welcome to read, replies are okay, just be aware that it’s gonna be a pretty dark place. i don’t usually ask for help despite telling everybody to. idk why. i’m not a very good example of what’s right to do. TW just in case, not planning to go that far but who knows.
i’m making myself this space because sometimes you can feel lonely while being surrounded by a million people and that’s nobody’s fault.
best wishes to you. ❤️
i hate it how my brain makes everything a *** competition.
so many changes.
can’t deal with this anymore.
@justmeeva
*sits with eva* 💜
@LoveMyMoonflowers
i’m sorry for being so uh… emotional and overreacting every night.. idk how you manage to put up with the night me but i’m thankful you do. 🩷
@justmeeva
:o me don’t just put up with you buddy. 💜 me wouldn’t describe it as putting up with. 🥺 ik you struggle every night :’) i get how messy and crazy our thoughts can be T^T your not overreacting or too being emotional. 💙 it’s okay 💜
how are things today? 🥺
too being emotional… my english… is falling apart. 😶 lmao. your not being too emotional*
@justmeeva *sits with eva and flowers*
@unassumingEyes @LoveMyMoonflowers
*sits quietly*
why do i break so fast under stress and pressure?
@justmeeva not ur fault :( those of us who “handle it well”….we’re not really handling anything.
it’s either pretend to be ok or show that ur not when under pressure, i think
i think the second option is the healthier one, too
@unassumingEyes
yeah… but my mind makes it so much worse than it’s supposed to be. as soon as i’m falling behind, i try to do everything at once which i obviously can not do and then i give up. why? (not expecting you to know the answer to it)
ykw nvm it all
@justmeeva idk why tbh…but i know sm other ppl who do that to if it helps. Some ppl just…react like that i guess. It doesnt make it ur fault
@justmeeva
*sits* 💙
@LoveMyMoonflowers @unassumingEyes
i’m sorry.. i didn’t mean to be rude…
@justmeeva you werent rude at all lovely :0 no need to apologise <3 being low isnt the same as being rude. How are u now frnd?/nfta
@justmeeva
*hugs if okie* awwe no you weren’t rude at all. 🥺 it’s okie
@LoveMyMoonflowers @unassumingEyes
*hugs u both* you two are seriously the best, thank you 🩷
@justmeeva
you and eyes are the bestesttest 🥺
@LoveMyMoonflowers
i know a nibuddy who’s bestesttester than eva (eyes does belong to that list tho i agree) but that’s a debate for another day :) 💕
@justmeeva
😮😮😮
@LoveMyMoonflowers
🩷🩷🩷
@justmeeva @LoveMyMoonflowers
to end the debate, we’re all the bestestestest ❤️🤍🩵
@unassumingEyes
yes 🥺
@unassumingEyes
agreed 🩷
@LoveMyMoonflowers
*surprise attacks ni fren from behind*
@justmeeva
😱😱😱 /j
*attacks you with hugs* 😛
@LoveMyMoonflowers
*accepts the attack and hugs* :D
@justmeeva
*whispers* how’s de ni fren?
@justmeeva
hehe, i’m okay, hru?
@LoveMyMoonflowers
(don’t mind the unchanged tag)
@LoveMyMoonflowers
is you sure? idk how eva is but that’s oke
@justmeeva
yes me sure 💜 awwe it’s okay not to know sometimes. Life’s hard :') does eva friend wanna talk about it 🥺💙
@LoveMyMoonflowers
yippee i’m happy ur okie :0
it’s okay for now, it’s just very mixed emotions but nothing wrong atm. i promise i will talk if i have to, okie? (knowing my mood changes it might happen anytime lol). i’m vvv thankful for you 🩷 besides, seeing you is what got the good emotions mixed with the bad :D (meaning i’m happy to see you.) *hugs* 🫂💕
@justmeeva
emotions can be messy :') me understand. *hugs you*
kind of early but the night's already taking over my mind. how fun.
oof. all kinds of memories, flashbacks and thoughts are coming flooding in.
is it possible to have a million thoughts and none at the same time? apparently yes.
it's a different kind of pain when you realise you're starting to forget their face.. their eyes.. their voice.