Eva’s Crazy Mind
i’ve wanted to make a forum post like that for quite a while now, but never brought myself to actually make it. here i will write up all sorts of thoughts and vents, everything i need to get off my mind. it’s not gonna be positive or motivational, not even close. i personally don’t recommend reading it just because it doesn’t help lol. you’re welcome to read, replies are okay, just be aware that it’s gonna be a pretty dark place. i don’t usually ask for help despite telling everybody to. idk why. i’m not a very good example of what’s right to do. TW just in case, not planning to go that far but who knows.
i’m making myself this space because sometimes you can feel lonely while being surrounded by a million people and that’s nobody’s fault.
best wishes to you. ❤️
ahemm- we’ll not talk about how i have a board of 283 pins, all some relatable messages. shh. …..
..
“it’s never too late.”
i wouldn’t be so sure of that.
the way this literally explains my whole self.
@justmeeva I wouldn’t dream of replacing you 🥺 you’re too precious and nice and…eva. There isn't any other on earth, in the universe, like you.
But i know sometimes it’s hard to see your own self worth <3 here for you.
@unassumingEyes
🩷
“when i wake up
i’m afraid
somebody else might take my place”
-“Afraid” by The Neighbourhood
this song.
this year’s valentine’s day is just a little different. in addition to not having a lover for the 14th year (why would i tho lol), this time i don’t have friends either. i’ll be spending the day completely alone. watching people be happy, enjoying someone’s company. walking by valentine’s day stuff in stores is such a mood killer. all i get is memories, flashbacks, pain. i don’t want to grow to hate that amazing day. but i’m afraid i will.
*** flashbacks. *** mom.
she triggers the worst flashbacks just so casually. almost every day. sometimes she does something consciously, sometimes she doesn’t mean harm. but it hurts regardless.
and there’s no way out. she doesn’t mean bad so i can’t complain. i can’t tell her because she doesn’t know anything. i’m stuck.
at this point, there’s no escape from the flashbacks. they follow me everywhere i go, whatever i do, say, hear, see.