Eva’s Crazy Mind
i’ve wanted to make a forum post like that for quite a while now, but never brought myself to actually make it. here i will write up all sorts of thoughts and vents, everything i need to get off my mind. it’s not gonna be positive or motivational, not even close. i personally don’t recommend reading it just because it doesn’t help lol. you’re welcome to read, replies are okay, just be aware that it’s gonna be a pretty dark place. i don’t usually ask for help despite telling everybody to. idk why. i’m not a very good example of what’s right to do. TW just in case, not planning to go that far but who knows.
i’m making myself this space because sometimes you can feel lonely while being surrounded by a million people and that’s nobody’s fault.
best wishes to you. ❤️
*trying to get it out of my head*
i know one thing that might help… but it’s not a good thing. at all.
…
@justmeeva *sits with eva frnd* do u think writing the dream down will help? U dont hv to post it or anything.
@unassumingEyes
i don’t know i want to forget it but i also don’t.. idk idk idk
@justmeeva mmm sounds confusing frnd :0 hugs if oki
@unassumingEyes
*hugs*
@justmeeva
eva beaniiee… 🥺 me completely late but me still sending a huggie for you if okie… 😞 how’s you today friend…? 🥺💜
@LoveMyMoonflowers
it’s nonsense and very messy so i don’t expect you to understand.
oh today started amazingly, first the dream, then i was about 10min late to school and omw through the front door i met a teacher who i think suddenly has something against me and that’s bad because i have one very very overdue assignment and one that i’m gonna be late with and now i’m scared to tell her, anyway she said in an annoyed, kind of mad voice “the class has started already” and me being me it made me ✨cry✨ so walking up the stairs i had to calm myself down because who normal person enters the classroom with tears in her eyes right uh so i finally managed to stop the tears and went to class, the classes were okay but now i have the lunch break which i’m gonna spend studying math that i halfway don’t understand ❤️❤️❤️
ooh and the dream almost made me do something dumb but i didn’t which should be good but idk
@justmeeva
awwe something dumb…? 🥺 does you mean not safes buddy…? 😔💜
@LoveMyMoonflowers
idk something not good but i didn’t for whatever reason so it’s not a worry atm (i think.)
@justmeeva
im glad you didn’t friend me would rather you were safe… 🥺
@justmeeva
*huggies if okay* i’m sorry lovely that is a lot 😞 understandable to feel like crying buddy because of the way your teacher behaved ): me don’t think it’s nonsense friend ): me thinks it’s life and it sucks … :/ 💜
😞 im sorry friend im not good at supporting but im still sitting with you lovely… 🥺💕 and sending warm huggies if okay… 💜
“*crying when i’m not supposed to*” count: 2
@justmeeva
me thinks it’s okie to cry… but oftentimes people around are meanies and they say it’s not okie or they say it’s weird… 😞 and our brains repeat that and tell us the same thing… it’s hard to be gentle with self. me don’t think it’s weird to merely express emotions buddy… :') 💜
@LoveMyMoonflowers
but i’m in school and i don’t have a reason for crying really idk what’s wrong with me
@justmeeva *whispers* *you don’t need a reason to cry*
*you don’t need a reason to feel happy, sad, angry, tired, cuz these are emotions that just are sometimes*
*you don’t need a reason to be you*
*and nobody likes school anyways so i think it wont complain if you cry :p*
*and im like not able to support but i just wanted to put this out there- you dont need a reason. Emotions are just there and thats okay too*
@justmeeva
me would have done the same friend ): me thinks seeing the teachers expression was scary and must have brought back the stress of all the schoolwork 😞 which would be overwhelming. me don’t think you’re crying ‘for no reason’ friend… 🥺 *huggies you*
i swear i can’t have any interaction with any teacher rn because i can’t just start crying like this
i can’t i don’t have anyone i don’t have any friends who could help me i can’t talk to any teachers because i’m at the verge of tears i don’t understand this math i don’t know how to do the overdue stuff i can’t i can’t i can’t
gtg to math class (i have a test that i have to retake since last *** break and idk when i have or can do that, i should’ve prepared for that but i didn’t understand anything so i didn’t, i have to explain to that same morning teacher that i haven’t read the book yet although it was due like 2 weeks ago a n d i haven't done the assignment about the p r e v i o u s book which was like a *** month ago, i have some english stuff way overdue, a history assignment multiple weeks overdue that i have no idea what to do) so wish me luck and let’s hope the crying count won’t increase <3
@justmeeva
*sitting with eva bean* 🥺
i would have so much to say rn but i won’t.
school finished about an hour ago, mom picked me up and now she tells me to study again ❤️
@justmeeva
bruh seriously… :') mmm. 😞 i wish she understood how exhausting school is on its own.
@LoveMyMoonflowers
cool thing is that one of the homework is related to the book that i haven’t read or even recieved :D another overdue assignment how fun
@justmeeva
not even received…? i’m sorry friend ): do you have to like purchase the book or get it from the library? 💜
*offers a hug for you* me feel sad to see eva beanie under so much stress… 😔 but me understand because schoolybobs is vv stressful and even more stressful and scary when things are overdue ): me knows me not in your shoes friend but me understand a bit because ni friend has vvv many assignments overdue also … 😞 it’s vv stressful, especially when they are throwing new assignments all the time also. ☹️
me believes in eva bean though. 💜 me also thinks… :o next time there is a student support chat here maybe you can hop in for a little? they can help with tips there 💜 helped me a bit ^-^
@LoveMyMoonflowers
mhm they have to get it from another library to the one we go to and somehow that’s taking time *and* they’re closed on weekend anyway so much time for lost there :’)
yeah i don’t do well with stress. especially since the assignments are usually either more time consuming or more difficult or something i don’t understand (i mean duh otherwise they’d be done-).. yeah. i just don’t like when things start piling up like this, i don’t know where to start once i do decide to start working on them and then i kinda try to do some stuff at once or like leave something unfinished to come back to it later and then it gets all messy and confusing and *boom* a mess which usually leads to giving up. 👍
student support room - that might be a good idea, i don’t think i’ve ever tried it but now i’m thinking- why haven’t i-? but yeah i think i should probably check it out sometime. thank you nibuddy 🩷
@justmeeva
dang ): i don’t think that’s your fault then friend … 😞 also, if you don’t even have the book yet because they haven’t gotten the book yet in the library… why are they giving you homework that’s related to that book? :') *smh* 🤦🏻♀️ :') (do correct me if i’ve gotten it all wrong 😬)
yeah i hear you buddy. ☹️ and i get that tbh, i do the same thing. :') tbh, i think we tend to procrastinate because there’s a kind of fear surrounding the assignment. not understanding it, not doing it right ✨ messing it up… 😞 idk - or, tbh, we might not even know what’s up. we sort of just feel… stuck. like… especially, *especially* when it piles up :') it gets so stressful, and we just don’t know what to do. :/ it’s stressful when we are on track, i guess, but it’s more stressful when things are overdue… 😞
i’m vv sorry it’s been difficult for evabuddy with schoolybobs. ☹️ you already have a lot going on… 😞 and then… school on top of that. :') i’m sorry friend. 😞💜 me understand it’s overwhelming. 💜 about the book thing - is it possible to speak to a teacher about that? because you don’t even have the book yet… how are they expecting you to do the homework *smh* :')
me thinks trying to hop into the student support room and maybe asking for tips would help :o their team is so vv helpful in the room 💜 i’ve asked them about some things before. (like procrastination… ni friend needs to win awards for her procrastinating… i’m a ✨ pro ✨ lol)
@justmeeva
i’m vv sorry for the late reply friend 🙈 i’m trying to fill out a little book i’m supposed to do for school. 🥲 it’s so annoying :/
i’m cupsing in between lol 🥲
@LoveMyMoonflowers
my school doesn’t have its own library so i go to one near my home. my mom ‘ordered’ the book but it was available in a different library so now we gotta wait until they bring it to ours :/ i guess it kind of is my fault, we have a free choice this month so i could just choose something else… but i wanted that one book, my mom already ordered it, i don’t have any unread books at home and i just think it’s better to wait for the book than to go searching for a new one. it shouldn’t take much longer.. but i swear this time it was supposed to be different, i told my sister to visit the library many weeks before the due date instead of leaving it to the last few days, i was supposed to be able to read it during school break.. but of course nothing goes to plan. first, my sister didn’t get to go to the library that week, then it wasn’t at the library, then the library was closed, now we have to wait for it. i had it all planned and now… *points at the situation in disappointment*.
yeah prostetanaticating (that should be the right way to spell it) is one of my biggest problems too. i leave *everything* to the last minute. it’s just coded into my personality atp.
is there a place for the times and dates of the pop up rooms somewhere? i have tried to search for them a little but haven’t succeeded hehe. *gives you a crown and makes you the prostetanatication queen and then bes the princess* :p
@justmeeva
oh noes i’m sorry… 😞 that’s not fun friend ): i think you’re right though it’s better to just wait for the book to come than to select a new one. 💜 i hope it comes soon. 😞💜
lol i like that spelling. 💜 hehe.
im not sure about the time buddy :o maybe you could PM zareia about the times? 💜 idk. that might help? 💜
(i’m sorry i feel a bit dry right now… replies kinda short. i just had to deal with something…. and it seems to have taken up all my energy. idk.)
@LoveMyMoonflowers
don’t worry lovely, i understand how sometimes there’s just not enough creativity or energy to find something to say. that’s okay 🩷 here if you want to talk to me okay? 💕
@justmeeva
thank you buddy 💜 i think i’ll be okie, but thank you friend. 💜
coming to cups is becoming a decision to debate on.
i thought i was safe staying off rooms but oh well. of course not.
*sigh*.