Exhausted by my illnesses, my family's toxic positivity, and a narcissistic partner. I don’t feel safe to be sick.

Hi everyone. I’m new here and just really need a safe space to talk where I don't have to pretend to be okay.

I am navigating an incredibly heavy list of diagnoses: lupus, fibromyalgia, Sjogren's, endometriosis, chronic migraines, a stroke in my eye, and past TIAs. My body is constantly fighting itself, and the physical toll is exhausting.

But what’s making it harder is that I don't feel emotionally safe anywhere. My family constantly pushes this "think positive, don’t speak it into existence" mindset, shutting me down whenever I mention a symptom.

Worse, I am in a toxic relationship with a highly narcissistic partner. He has major "main character syndrome" and has explicitly told me that my health conditions are an "inconvenience." Every single time I have to go to the hospital, he picks fights with me about it. I have two kids who depend on me, but whenever my symptoms prevent me from completing daily tasks, he starts arguments, telling me I’m not meeting expectations and cruelly saying he "no longer has expectations of me."

It feels like it is a crime for me to be sick in my own home. I am carrying all of these severe diagnoses, trying to protect my kids, and constantly being emotionally punished for being unwell.

Has anyone else navigated severe chronic illness while dealing with a narcissistic, unsupportive partner? How do you survive this when your body and your home both feel unsafe? Thank you for reading