Feeling stuck between pride, burnout, and “what ifs”

I’ve been having a lot of mixed feelings about my job and where I am in life right now, and I don’t really know how to make sense of it.

I work as a coordinator at a music school, and even though I’m not a musician, I’m actually proud of being there. At the same time, the environment can be really draining, and there’s a lot of drama that I deal with daily. Some days I feel completely done and start wondering if it’s even worth pushing through.

I also wish my family showed more interest in where I work. I imagined my niece and nephew taking classes there, and even talked to my brother-in-law about lessons. But they live far away and didn’t really seem that interested when visiting. My mom has also been confusing, she’s told me to quit when things get hard, but then also encourages me to keep the job.

On top of that, I keep thinking about my old job at a community art organization. I was let go suddenly, and it really blindsided me. At first I was in denial, but now I can see it wasn’t a great environment. Still, I find myself wondering what my life would be like if I had stayed.

The weird part is that I used to love ceramics, and now I feel disconnected from it. I’ve lost a lot of motivation, and even basic things about working with clay and color don’t come as naturally anymore. I still have some pieces I need to pick up, and I’d be upset if they got thrown away, but even going back there feels complicated.

I guess I just feel stuck part of me is proud of where I am, part of me is burned out, and part of me is grieving something I used to love but don’t feel connected to anymore.

Has anyone else gone through something like this? How did you figure out what to hold onto and what to let go of?