For fizz
Hiya fizz, it's me Kevin. I made this forum cause yesterday I feel like I didn't leave things the right way? Idk but, I left so abruptly and u weren't ok
The way I treated things, that's how I normally am, whenever stuff like that happens, I gotta be the one to push it over and act as if nothin had happened and it's my bad that all this happened
Ik u said that I don't need to apologize but imma do it anyways cause u deserve an apology, that prolly brought up rlly bad memories for u
I'm here for u man, if u got any questions, if u need an explanation, I'm here to answer
Pls be honest, u don't need to act as if it's all ok cause I know it's not aight, 💙
@ZeroFizz
Idk if the f in ur username is capital or not so imma put both just to be sure XD
@Zerofizz
Hey Kevin I hope things are better for u rn ❤️
the way you treated things were fine. You apologized, you asked me if I was okay multiple times and you explained what was going on. You did so amazing and I don’t expect you to change. If that is how you normally are than that’s is great. You handled it well. I’m grateful for that 💕
and yeh yesterdays conversation brung up a lot for me but I was willing to be there to help you. I was there for you and when I felt like I got triggered I should have left. But I didn’t. So it is my fault and not yours.
the things that loik was saying yesterday were really scary. It made me so sad when I saw that he left and switched. We were in the middle of a really tough subject. I don’t know much about DID so I was confused when this all happened.But it’s not you fault. You can’t control that stuff. And I’m actually glad that he left because I could see he needed help. A big hug if U ask me ❤️
And I tried my best to help him believe that it gets better. I really did and I trulyhope he is okay. How is he doing?
and I’m sorry if I made you feel as if it was your fault. it wasn’t Kevin. You did what you had to do. Thank you for the message and hugggggsss 🫂🫂🫂🫂🫂🫂🤗❤️❤️❤️
@ZeroFizz
it wasnt ur fault fizz, tbh im glad u stayed with loik at that time cause if u hadnt, things rlly wouldve been bad. u helped alot but hru now? is it all good?
loik isnt rlly ok, what hes goin through is rlly horrible but we're tryin our best for him
dw, u didnt make me feel like it was my fault, like i said, i was rlly glad that u stayed:) hugssss<3<3<3
I’m glad I stayed with him. He deserves better honestly. I’m glad I’ve helped him. And I’m sorry he’s going thru such a horrible time I hope he feels better very soon.
being with him made me remember how bad things can get. And how isolating and numb it can feel. Like there’s no other choice but that one thing. So when I got off cups I just sat there for a while. Remembering. Wasn’t really a good night but I’m okay now. I’m all good. I’m happy I got to help him even if if was just a little. If you can please tell him that I’m still here for him ❤️
thanks for being so understanding and kind about all of this. I know you probably have no idea what I’m on about lol. ❤️❤️❤️🤍🤍🤍
Also in general I hope we can still be friends and stuff without it being weird 💙💙
@ZeroFizz
im glad ur all good now, i'll be sure to tell him how much u care and that ur here for him
and ofc we can stay friends man, id luv it if we did 0^0
also im here for u too, ok? whenever u need it
i got a feel for what was goin on, it mustve not been easy for u but u still stayed, idk how many times ive said thanks XD but imma say it again, thx bro and like i said, im here for u too
Thank you Man U have no idea how much it means to me. If possible pls keep me updated on him I hope he feels better soon🤍 Glad we can be friends. Thanks for also being here for me I’m also here for you always ❤️
and of course i stayed. I will always stay. Thank you. I’m here for u too 🤗🤗
@ZeroFizz
ofc np man, i'll keep u updated and it also means a lot to me, too know that theres someone who cares^^ im glad we're friends💙🤗
❤️❤️❤️❤️🫂🫂🫂🫂🫂
Hey Kevin, just wanted to say thank you so much for everything that you said to me earlier. I was in a bad moment and u just dragged me out of it Yk. You probably have no idea how much this truly means to me. You are so kind and true hearted. You supported me when I was going crazy lol. Thank you and damn, u are a good person. Sending huggggggggggs ur wayyyyyy 🫂🫂🫂🫂❤️❤️❤️❤️
I'm so happy that I was able to help ☺️ dw imma make u a boomerang 🪃 so every time u go in a bad moment u can come back XD idk if that makes any sense but ure also a rlly great guy man, don't let urself think otherwise 🫡💪
Huggggssssss 🫂 🫂🫂🫂🫂🫂
Awwwwwwwwwwwww I’m not crying you are 🥺🥺 same goes for uuu ❤️❤️❤️🫂🫂🫂
Hiya fizzzzy I'm just checking on ya
Haven't seen u for a while, u doing good? 0^0
@SyriusSystem
hiiii it’s been a while hasn’t it lol how are youuuuuuu? Missed u Fr
yeh I may or may not be going thru a mental breakdown for around 2 weeks which is just getting worse. 😭😭😂
means sm u checked on meee 💗💗💗
Oh Damm sending hugs frfrr, if u wanna talk abt anything imma be here for u bruv, I couldn't imagine a 2 week long breakdown 😭 glad I checked on yu, missed u a bunch, I hope it gets better 💖
As for me idk, I'm just numb XD
thank you for being here kev it means so so so so much ❤️ and as for being numb Ik how much that sucks and it’s so difficult. Been there done that. And it does end. Ik u will feel better soon friendo! And I’m always here for u to. You can talk to me whenever even when I’m not online for a while. I will respond to this forum💖💖
@ZeroFizz
thankz budy<3<3
Ppl be snooping here 😭 I didn’t hear ur upper messages but someone else did 😭😂😂
Heart*
@ZeroFizz
ooooo lurkerz👀
m bored 0- 0
Ahh sorry I haven’t seen the notification on this thread till now 😭
I am bored too
How are you?
@ZeroFizz
idek lol u?
I’m alright Ty. Wanna talk about it?
@ZeroFizz
u sure ur ok? u dont gotta hide it yk
Yeh I’m fine I’m alive and living so what do I have to be sad about. Wbuuuuuuuuuu
@ZeroFizz
u can b sad for no reason at all bruv
aand i sortof feel like a carpet(complicated to explain XD)
Oh a carpet, metaphorically or physically 😭
@ZeroFizz
both?
Ohh wanna talk about it?
@ZeroFizz
suree how tho?
Idk whatever comes to ur mind js say it
@ZeroFizz
hmmm what comes to mind rn is "man-- im hungry" 0-0
Haha same tbh oh Yehh who’s fronting rn?
@ZeroFizz
kevin lol
ah lol
Oh wait I forgot to add if u wanna vent do u wanna go to sr or something
@ZeroFizz
alters who arent hosts arent allowed in sr anymore😬
Uh oh what happened. Is host the main person one sorry I do need to educate myself more on this topic. Also that’s kinda unfair 🙁
@ZeroFizz
yea u can say the host is like the "main driver" and fronts more often than others
Ah I understand it now kinda ty
@SyriusSystem
and its fr unfair that they changed rules
Wow I haven’t been here for so long and so much has changed
@ZeroFizz
i think its just that that changed 0 0 idk
Waiiiiiit hollllld up is this directed towards you or systems in general??
@ZeroFizz
systems in general
It’s an odd rule I’m confused why they did that
Also ain’t that excluding others???
@ZeroFizz
ye, i was so frustrated fr, its like they didnt care abt the alters they like "ya u dont exist anyways soooo"
but its aight, i was never on that much anyways, i feel bad for those who actlly lost the support source (heck idek what im sayin XD)
Ngl if I was them I’d pretend to be the host to chill with my friends 😭
But Fr they js acting like y’all aren’t real tf Ik ppl who would be in sr everyday who acc wanted support. Now they canttt???
@ZeroFizz
nahh the most frustratin thing happened one day, our host was so maddd
like someone just asked her "whos front?" and she said her name(letticia) and thenn she got a warning from a mod sayin " ya cant be front in chatrooms" like wtffff its not possible to "not be front" otherwise the body would be unconcious 0-0
Omdssssss that’s so irritating I get why u were frustrated. Balalaksjjdkabxjwbs
is letticia the owner ***? Like the person body? Ahhh I’m sorry if this is rude to ask I find it interesting Yk
@ZeroFizz
it aint rude dw
letticia isn't the owner, technically there is no more "original" shes just the one that deals with day to day life, like socializin, makin connections idk host ***, a while ago, it was dylan (my brother) but he went dormant so, they had to get another host and since letticia is the fusion of vicky (the "original") and cat, she fit the role and could handle it(its so complicated fr)
Ohhh I get itttt ty for telling me I Fr didn’t get what u meant at first so ty lol.
also I’m sorry Dylan went dormant I’m sure that’s musta been difficult.
@ZeroFizz
nah i hated that guy, horrible piece of crap fir a brother (not like i was any better but still, hes wirse than me)
Oh damn idk how to react to this without it sounding off but yehhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh
@ZeroFizz
lol XD off how?
Okok so pls don’t get offended when I was originally gonna say
“Oh so is it a good thing he went dormant?”
Ahhhhhhhh this is what I mean by off I don’t have a filter 😭
@ZeroFizz
dw i dont got a filter either andd ye its a good thing he went dormant
man started doing drugs while we were on chemo 0-0 bro fr almost killed us all and got mad at ME for some *** i did in the past and i was like "bro befr pointin fingers fix urself first"
Ohhhh that’s is so *** dangerous tfffff sounds like a bad person anyway Yk.
@ZeroFizz
ye fr bad person, wonder where he got it from (def not me👀)
oh 'n just so yk im co-con with mia so i might disappear randomly
Defffdd not u lol. Ah that’s okay lol feel feee to disappear when u please to 😂
@ZeroFizz
lol XD
alsoo btw i been tryna find new music to listen to, got any reccs?
Omg when I tell you I’m the worst person to ask for music cuz I have zeroooo good taste. I listen to everything 😭
@ZeroFizz
me too lol i can listen to ltrlly anythin
Ahhh U get meee also I genuinely can’t recommend anything my mind is suddenly empty tfff
@ZeroFizz
idk maybe some incident happened that concerned an alter idk its all just stupid imop
Yh probably
@ZeroFizz
XD i forbade other alters from coming on here
and i actlly cant believe they listened lol(either that or they just not interested)
Awhhh that’s so nice now Ik it’s js u I was confused earlier 😭
yo fizz 👋🏽 hows it goin
Hiiiiiiiiiii it’s going all good thanks for askinggggg wbu how are u doinnn? Oh yeh sorry I didn’t see ur notification in the corner till today 😭
@ZeroFizz
and here i was, preparing myself to wait weeks for ur response loll XDD(jk)
im good im good
hhahaha lollll
U sure ur goooood?
@ZeroFizz
nahh idk
Wanna talk about it?
@ZeroFizz
ye sure why not(idk how to tho, kinda forgot how to)
Maybe js say the thing thing that’s bothering u or js affecting u big or small :)
@ZeroFizz
aight so like, the other day i relapsed in a rlly rlly bad way andd now i cant even see the color red without gettin triggered😬
Oh god I’m sorry u relapsed I get u man the next few days or weeks are gonna be hard. Being triggered by a colour is scary asf. U ok? Is it clean and bandaged?
This reply was a *** one I’m so sorry. I’m here for u and huggggs 🫂
@ZeroFizz
nah ur good bro, i guess im just tryna figure stuff out rn but man, it sure aint easy😅
it still hurts but i clean it and replace the bandages everyday
hugss🫂
Yeh Ik it ain’t easy talk to me man I’m here I can take some pressure away from u js by u talkin to me. Do u know why u relapsed?
@ZeroFizz
i had a mean nervous breakdown, i dont remember why tho
thx for being here man, i appreciate it
Awh shi they are terrible I’m sorry u had one and ofccccc ima walkways be here for u brooooooooo!!! U can continue venting if u like I have nowhere to go lol I’m here
@ZeroFizz
i fr dk how to vent XD i have like, a billion thoughts goin on rn and i cant catch any of them
Tell me somethkng very small that isn’t helping u atm. Anything at all
@ZeroFizz
hyperventilating
So like a panic attack? U hyperventilating rn? Or in general kinda thing
@ZeroFizz
kinda hyperventilating rn
Oh shi did I trigger u sorry. I’m here man take in a deeeeeeeeeeeeep breath and let it out very slowly. In for 6……… hold for 1……… out for 6……… with me keep doing this it’s ok. Wanna go to sr and we can do grounding?
@ZeroFizz
no i sort of triggered myself, all on me..hahaa
Awh are u ok now? Wanna go to sr
@ZeroFizz
nope not ok, sure lets go to sr
Hey u kinda disappeared from sr are you ok I’m kinda worried. Sorry if I made u sick with the chair spin thing are u ok?
@ZeroFizz
its ok, i also disappeared
ye the spinning wasnt a good touch😅 (not ur fault tho, i was already feelin off)
Ah I’m sorry I thought maybe slowly like reallly slow sooon might help Idky 😭 but what happened? Where did u go? Also I’m sorry for the late reply I fell asleep on my desk head down lol but woke up to ur message sorry bout that.
I sort of dissociated while having a panick attack, it was kinda weird cause I saw myself, gaspin for air but everythin was goin so slow
'n in the corner I saw our youngerself cryin (I think that was a little tho)
It's all good bro , atleast u got some sleep 👌 also I just woke up lol
Oh that sounds like it was *** to go thru I’m sorry that happened I wish I knew how to help you cuz u deserve that. How’s things been?
@ZeroFizz
trust me, if i deserved help then two headed unicorns exist XD
things have been the same as usual, hbu? hru?
it’s 3:30 am so my brain isn’t computing what u mean by the unicorn thing but I’m guessing you think you don’t deserve help?? If thats the case I can write an entire essay and more about the reasons as to someone so amazing like you would deserve loveeee and helppp and suporttttt!!!!!!!! I do wanna help u or atleast be there for u Yk.
Things are the same as usual hey, is that a good or bad thingggg cuz idk if your usual is being depressed or if it’s good.
I’m fineeeee just studying 24/7 with no breaks for my exams which I shallll failllll. I feel like what I’m saying doesn’t make sense. Probably cuz it’s 3 am and I’ve had an energy drink and 3 cups of coffee. My sleep schedule is messed up hahaha. 😂 😂
Nah I rlly don't deserve it, but u fr do and I wanna be there for u as much as I can, u is an amazing friend frfr (iread support as sport XDDD)
same as usual is that nothin changed, life still punching me in tha gutss
Gl in ur examss, I trust that I won't fail 🙏 😌 and if u do? Uhmmmm u still did well, them teachers can't see the level of intellectual that u posses frfr and also u need alotttt of sleep but coffee still rocks (I also don't know what I'm saying XD)
Nahhh ur not as smoothe as u think I ain’t gonna let it slip past me that u js said u don’t deserve support. My brain isn’t hooked up rn and I can’t think of anything to say but what I do know is that you are a beautiful person inside and out and you have been theu *** things which you need help for. U deserve it
U deserve help* the way I ended that paragraph makes it seem like I’m saying you deserve bad things which I didn’t mean. Sorry bout that.
@ZeroFizz
(ngl i read that as smoothie lol) but im also out of words, i wanna beleive that i deserve support, but i just cant
see a guy like me, a screw up, i dont even give a damn about myself tbh, i icould just drop ded for all i care and i cant see myself otherwise, i tried to but failed so i just gave up, basically lol
Kevvv I just read the forum post you made 3 days ago and I don’t mean to be all mood drainer but I’m crying sm man. Ilysm and I’m sorry this is happening to you I had no idea about your health issues, let alone your mental struggles too. I’m gonna miss you so much man and I hope things get better for you both mentally and physically. Diagnosises or not ilysm and I wish the best for you. I don’t want to say goodbye… I really don’t. Ilysm it’s unreal man pls respond I’m gonna miss u.
I also replied to your post just now if you wanna read it. Sorry if it’s blunt I just alr miss youuu man ily
@ZeroFizz
u aint a mood drainer bud, im the one thas bein all energetic and joking when its rlly seriousXD i just dk how to deal with this *** soo i just joke around about it, but seein people care so much rlly makes me relieved and happy, its good to kno that there were ppl out there that atleast saw us and cared:) so thank you(like sincerely)
i also don't wanna say bye, i wanted to stay... and yk, get to know yall even more and be friends for life but i guess fate had diff plans, mann this is harder than i thought XD i didnt even think ppl would respond to the forum tbh
i rlly wish that it wouldve been different.. man yk all this is rlly scary, like, goin to a place with a buncha ppl we dont kno and waiting for life to end, its all so scary.. ahh idk
ill fr miss u too<3 thx again man, for writting to me, dealing with my bs and for bein my friend.. ily2 ^^:) 🫂
I’m late…
I’m late…
