Hallucinating non-stop for nearly 4 years

@impartialMelon6808 I can imagine that this was very difficult for you to share this, but I'm glad that you had the courage to come here for support.

Hallucinations can definitely be hard to live with... I'm sorry to hear you say they have been getting worse

Do you have anyone in your life you feel you can talk to about what is going on for you?

It's been roughly 1,356 days since these hallucinations began. The apparitions have referred to themselves varyingly as being anything and everything from angels and demons to extraterrestrials and time travelers; however, they seem to have a preference for a sort of "catch-all" term, "thought-forms" (which appears to be the Western equivalent to the Eastern "tulpae"). The hallucinations don't exactly become any less intense depending on my medication. That is to say--over these past three to four years I've been prescribed and taken Abilify, Remeron, Adderall, Wellbutrin, Lexapro, Ativan (just to name a few). Despite the fact that the thought-forms had initially suggested that Adderall was causing these hallucinations (in spite of the fact that I'd been taking Adderall since January 2015 and the hallucinations began around October 2019--shortly after my current psychiatrist decided to stop prescribing the antipsychotic Abilify to me) and that they wanted me to stop taking Adderall and have my psychiatrist prescribe Modafinil instead... the hallucinations remain over two months after my psychiatrist decided to stop prescribing Adderall to me and nearly one month after I resumed taking Abilify. In many ways; the hallucinations have actually intensified more since I stopped taking Adderall.

I remember when nighttime used to be my favorite part of the day. I used to love staying up all night, especially throughout the years in between roughly 2001 and 2006. As recently as 2020; I managed to get some enjoyment out of my nights... sometimes, but not always. There might be a brief "high" shortly before my mother got out of bed. The noise my mother would make in the mornings would quickly become so disturbing (the hallucinations would usually intensify especially in conjunction to my mother using the blender to make her shakes) that I consciously noticed it and pointed this out to the thought-forms how my mother's presence combined with that of the thought-forms would effectively ruin the mood most mornings in 2020, and perhaps a bit of 2021 and 2022.

My mother had me throw away the last of my Abilify yesterday and now I feel depressed and confused.

Hallucinations intensified earlier.