I hate who I am.

TW:// Self harm, pregnancy, not being sober, abuse.

Everybody always tells me that they are jealous of me and that they wish that they could be like me, I am a horrible person. All I do is hurt people, I don't know why and I don't mean to. All I want to do is help. 

I hate being the way I am. It's pathetic. People feel sympathetic for me but I don't deserve any of it. At all. I hate myself so much. 

Im tied of living. Im tired of waking up every morning. I'm tired of everything, I'm tired of never being sober, and probably hurting my baby by never being sober. I'm tired of cutting myself, I'm tired of going through this pain. I just want it all to end. I just want my mom. My momma. I miss her so much. If she was with me, I would be the happiest person in the whole world. I'm tired of my dad treating me like dog ***. Im tired of my dad not supporting me and my pregnancy. I'm tired of the disrespect that I get from my dad. I'm tired of my dad throwing glass at me and it breaking. I'm tired of everything. Im *** exhausted.

But there is this one person, her name is Adrien. She has helped me so much. She tells me that I need to prove to my dad and stepmom that I WILL have this baby, and that I can prove them wrong. She makes me so happy, and I feel so bad for what she is going through. I love you so much Adrien.

She has pushed me to keep on living, to keep going. She tells me not to give up yet. She is an amazing person.

But I still feel horrible about myself.