Just a open space
Well so, this is just a space for idk what lol.. I just wanna write some things and it's better to do it here where no is actually told to listen.. so, if anyone wanna read and reply.. you can do that, I don't mind it. I don't know for how long I will even continue this but whatever and for introduction.. I am 20 years old, from India, I got no social life so you are just going to hear a rant about loneliness.
Finding myself again after a long time, not going to let anyone take that away ever again.
I just read this
"Don't rush. Even delayed trains still
reach their station" and yeah this is going to my quotes list.
Uhmm, okay so what I need to say to myself is that not caring about people does not make you a bad person and even if it does it's fine.. I still accept you, you don't need anyone's validation.. not anymore.. so, I guess this is also how isolation looks like without dwelling in loneliness
Uhmm, okay so I was just having my dinner then I opened youtube. Then there was that video "corecore" so I was like yeah let's watch it again... Then I got the viewer discretion advice as it was just a scidial type so.. well, then I was watching it and I didn't feel much I was like okay it doesn't bother me and then I saw something and I felt that intense loneliness again. But whatever.. somehow the reason behind I watched it again is cause deep inside of me a part of me still lingers and will keep lingering for that loneliness everytime because I have become too comfortable with that now.. it's been too long, so kya mtlb keeda sirf daant me nhi hota🙂
Yeah, so because of that loneliness happened.. I thought to play game so I won't feel the loneliness but I just remembered that I was going to face it so yeah no games for you buddy
Okay it's there again, yahi toh headache cause krta hai while sleeping.. I don't want to feel this loneliness, please not. But it will cause you headache everyday and the loop will continue.. it's okayy, please just face it this time..
Okay so what should I do just watch sad stuff again huh?
Sounds like you're trying really hard not to run from it this time. Hope it gets a little easier.
Oops, why is it so complicated.. when I let myself feel it, it's just not there anymore.. what is going on, it's just so confusing.m like yeah okay, it takes alot fofjfnfjfddkjddjdjskssksksksksks ahahajhhhshdhdjsjsjsjsjsjsjssjsjjj it takes so much courage but ah it's just not there anymore... What should I do, ah I am so frustrated now.dhhdusus shhh oops, this is so just
Like just let me deal with it once, but whenever I make up the courage it's just not there anymore.. I am already tired, it's not like I want to leave people but I did leave them all just to face this, but it's not there anymore.. what the f did I do all it for, atleast let me deal with it and be done with it now
So, why will I actually socialize with people especially when I am not lonely at all and I already don't like most of the people.
