Just a open space
Well so, this is just a space for idk what lol.. I just wanna write some things and it's better to do it here where no is actually told to listen.. so, if anyone wanna read and reply.. you can do that, I don't mind it. I don't know for how long I will even continue this but whatever and for introduction.. I am 20 years old, from India, I got no social life so you are just going to hear a rant about loneliness.
I thought journalling might help but I am having second thoughts on that. I don't think it's helping at the same time I don't have much reason to stay on cups too because I don't interact with listeners as there's no point.
For now, I don't feel happy, sad or anything. It's just a calm feeling that's going on and it's okay.
Though hearing something, from someone made me feel a little sad
Okay anyways, I gotta deal with some things. So, there's videography and editing I need to learn editing too. And why do I feel something so intense about this person, not that type of feelings. Just something I don't have a name for. I gotta get moving fast, I will complete all the tasks needed.
I do feel kinda lost time to time but I am trying to figure out things. Let's see how it goes 🙃
The thing is I just need someone to be there, but the trust also must be there. It's not like I need them to get back up again, it's more like knowing that there is someone would just help me to know that I do not need to worry to fall or maybe simply I just won't feel lonely so I can face other things
I won't be coming here often anymore. Will just login whenever need to journal and log out back again. Bye.
Okay so what's for sure is I need to heal before socializing. I feel like I lost all the progress again. But yeah that's not true. It's more i climbed 10 steps but I am 9 steps back. So, not all. I am so tired of things, somehow isolation is the end option. I am not even choosing it this time. It's just that's how it is for me. It's okay, now I remember all I have to is survive for one and a half year more. It's okay, well anyways I don't plan to journal again. Thank you for being a part.
I just feel so f**king lonely. Ah, I am so damn tired and there is no one. No one at all.
Okay, so seems like I have a support. Let's face the past now, I will go all in.
@aTinyDroplet gud luck!!
@bobaa13 thank you, have you heard of BPD?
@aTinyDroplet yess I have heard of it !
@bobaa13 do you think you might have it? From what I have seen you are usually sad because one little thing comes after another but recently when just a simple moment like rain happened while you were driving your activa made you feel intensely good which should not be the case normally. In BPD, one feels even tiny moments very intensely. Though, only a psychologist can diagnose that. We can only assume
Ikr I was also kinda shocked tbh that how such a simple thing made me feel so happy. Idk tbh as u said we can only assume but going to psychologist is not an option
@aTinyDroplet
