Just a open space
Well so, this is just a space for idk what lol.. I just wanna write some things and it's better to do it here where no is actually told to listen.. so, if anyone wanna read and reply.. you can do that, I don't mind it. I don't know for how long I will even continue this but whatever and for introduction.. I am 20 years old, from India, I got no social life so you are just going to hear a rant about loneliness.
Ouch, why does feel like a closed path for me
Well, you know what. I am just done with everything. I don't even want a connection anymore like yeah I have this desire. But whatever. I don't even want to have this desire anymore. Makes me feel sick. I will stop wanting it. I am just so done, done done done jsug done.. I don't want anyone anymore
Yeah, i just am giving up on people now. I haven't been able to give up completely yet but soon it will happen. I am okay with it this time. Don't want anyone anymore
Seems like I am pushing everyone away now that I don't even want a connection anymore
It's okay, nobody has to stay. Would obviously like if someone still does but don't really care anymore
Always lurking 👀 Hope you don't mind. I can only imagine how exhausting this all must feel
@aTinyDroplet
@bobaa13 😭😭 Yeah, i don't mind. No, I mean it was exhausting to want it. It's kinda relaxing when you accept it. Like I think I felt like myself and still do. Not completely, not yet. But yeah. Back then, I think I was feeling like someone who was very scared, so not a version of myself I like. What happened today though that made you lash out so badly?
Yeah I mean wanting a connection is exhausting 😭 like constant shift between wanting a connection and trying to stay alone is exhausting..yeaah it really iss relaxing.. so it's better this way then right ?! Nothing much 😭 it's kinda my daily routine now
@aTinyDroplet
@bobaa13 haa, ye bhi hai.. 😭 theek hai fir toh, pass hojao bss.. man nhi lag rha kya pdhai me?
Okay okay, just a lil bad
I still feel a little bad cause of yesterday but I don't think it was my fault. But okay whatever. I don't feel good today as well, I have to do something. Not just rest, I need to moving. I just don't where to move, what to do and even why to do. What should I start to do
What happened yesterday? If u want to share. Maybe do something u like to do like playing guitar or gym ?!
@aTinyDroplet
@bobaa13 why are you here? Why do you care?
Because you seem like a nice person, idk I just do. I don't think you have to know someone for very long to care about them.
@aTinydroplet
@bobaa13 though you do know me, not for very long but yeah we have met before
Met before? Wdym?
@aTinyDroplet
@bobaa13 yeah, I am solar eclipse if you remember
Oh reallyyy! Yeaah i remember 😭😭
@aTinyDroplet
@bobaa13 Yeahh... I would say, don't care.. no point anyways
Whyy? Are u that much disappointed to know that I m grapes 😭
@aTinyDroplet
@bobaa13 aree, no..😭 I knew that since I saw your profile, I just had a feeling it's you. Then I saw a little bit of your journalling and just was sure since then.
Then better u don't say anything 😭..ohhh okayyy..u could have told me earlier 😭..
@aTinyDroplet
@bobaa13 whyy😭
I thought you would figure out on your own, I didn't want to yk like be in that position again. I just grow attached I guess
U should not 😭
Yeah I thought...but then I was like itna coincidence ni ho skta h 😭 so there is nothing wrong in getting attached..right ?!
@aTinyDroplet
@bobaa13 whyy not😭
Yeahh, nothing wrong in getting attached.. just not good when your friendship is stuck on just a site, nothing more
Ummmm....
Hmm that's a valid point..but it's not possible to contact offsite 😭
@aTinyDroplet
@bobaa13 yup, see that's how and why you shouldn't care
But this doesn't mean I can't care about u... Even if it's just a site still we aree friends 😭
@aTinyDroplet
@bobaa13 yeah I mean you are right. It's just I have a different perspective over things. Do you remember the last time I stopped talking? It's not cause I left, yeah I was definitely going to leave that site and I did. I just didn't do it when I told you. Maybe, I can have just some friends too but not with you. I knew I was going to get attached with you. So, I tried and I mean it's completely fine that you can't talk outside. Nothing against that, your choice. But I just can't stay just as friends like how things are, not with you. So yeah, that's all. I am not asking you to do anything, but I hope you understand what I meant. It's completely fine😭 don't worry. You don't have to do anything. Thankyou for everything you have did.
It's okay i understand..u don't have to thank mee
@aTinyDroplet
I don't have a problem to be alone, infact I like it you know. I really like spending time with myself, I really like to just do stuff by myself, I love being alone. But I just wish I wasn't alone, like if I had just one person yk, whom I know is always going to be there for me like that would be so enough for me. That's all I want, just one person to always believe in me. It's not like I don't believe in myself, I believe in myself. I am very confident about myself. It's just I believe I can reach greater heights that way.
Past came back, emptiness came back, loneliness came back, the root of suffering came back. Just when I decided to finally be alone and happy. Pushed everyone away and someone came just to ruin it. Move one step, world will push you 10 steps back
I am so scared, why did it happen..my mind feels like bursting, I just want it all to stop. Please just something break my mind, I just . It's not stopping, it's too much
