Just a open space
Well so, this is just a space for idk what lol.. I just wanna write some things and it's better to do it here where no is actually told to listen.. so, if anyone wanna read and reply.. you can do that, I don't mind it. I don't know for how long I will even continue this but whatever and for introduction.. I am 20 years old, from India, I got no social life so you are just going to hear a rant about loneliness.
Ouch, why does feel like a closed path for me
Well, you know what. I am just done with everything. I don't even want a connection anymore like yeah I have this desire. But whatever. I don't even want to have this desire anymore. Makes me feel sick. I will stop wanting it. I am just so done, done done done jsug done.. I don't want anyone anymore
Yeah, i just am giving up on people now. I haven't been able to give up completely yet but soon it will happen. I am okay with it this time. Don't want anyone anymore
Seems like I am pushing everyone away now that I don't even want a connection anymore
It's okay, nobody has to stay. Would obviously like if someone still does but don't really care anymore
Always lurking 👀 Hope you don't mind. I can only imagine how exhausting this all must feel
@aTinyDroplet
@bobaa13 😭😭 Yeah, i don't mind. No, I mean it was exhausting to want it. It's kinda relaxing when you accept it. Like I think I felt like myself and still do. Not completely, not yet. But yeah. Back then, I think I was feeling like someone who was very scared, so not a version of myself I like. What happened today though that made you lash out so badly?
Yeah I mean wanting a connection is exhausting 😭 like constant shift between wanting a connection and trying to stay alone is exhausting..yeaah it really iss relaxing.. so it's better this way then right ?! Nothing much 😭 it's kinda my daily routine now
@aTinyDroplet
@bobaa13 yess, you get it.. aree, btaoo kya hua aaj
Yeahah! Umm it's a long story..like do teen cheeze huyi then at the end saara gussa bhai pr nikl gya 😭 in short
@aTinyDroplet
@bobaa13 how does long story sound
So like I stay alone at home most of time..so aj na koi Ghar aaya tha unhone saaman shift Krna tha Ghar se shop pr.. toh like usme time lgna tha and grmi bhut thi so I offered him water and like he touched my hand twice idk maybe it was not intentionally ... and he started asking me u stay at home and everything like bai tu apna kaam krke ja 😭 but it wasn't that big of a deal so after that...mera 6 july ko paper hai and hum log kahin Jane ka plan bna rahe the as I told u if u remember so meri cousin or uski mummy ka plan bn rha thaa.. and agr mai jaati toh vo dono bhi ja skte the.. but unhone 6 ko hi wapis aana tha toh maine mna kr diya...so like meri bhen ne bhut irritate ho kr bola usne ni jaan usko jada pdhi hui hai ppr ki...fir uske baad mera bhai kehta mai ujjain ja rhaa mummy kehte maine ni jana kyuki bhai ujjain ja rha.. uske baad bhai ne thora kuch merko bolaa toh maine fir pura din ka gussa us bhi nikal diya 😭( sry it was too long and not that big of a deal 😭)
@aTinyDroplet
@bobaa13 baapre itna sab😭 usko bhi jyada chul thi sab poochne ki.. fir jaane ka plan cancel hogya 😭 bechara bhai bhi, lekin siblings toh isliye hi hote hai🤭😭 koi baat nhi, vo to bhai vo nhi maana hoga boora.. httt, noo thank you for telling me about it all even if it wasn't a big deal
Sachiii😭😂..hn abhi ke liye toh cancel hi h 😭..maan bhi ni skta hai bura 😭 vrna raat ko usko gate kon kholega meri neend bhi khrb krta hai roz..I should say thank youu 😭
So how was your dayy ?
@aTinyDroplet
@bobaa13 acha hai cancel hi rahe... pdhai kro tum..🤣sahii hai fir toh, muthi me hai tumhari vo.. achaa? Kis baat ke liye thank you?
I think not bad, I practiced guitar alot😭 it's so hard, bahut yaad rkhna pad rha aur ungliya bhi dard krti😭
How are you feeling right now
Hawww 😭😭 aise ni bolte yr...hnnnn 😂 for listening to meee
Oh woww ! Starting starting mai hard lgta hi haii dheere dheere practice ho jaegi ! Did u practice any specific song ?
Okayyy i guess..wbuuu?
@aTinyDroplet
@bobaa13 haa, ye bhi hai.. 😭 theek hai fir toh, pass hojao bss.. man nhi lag rha kya pdhai me?
Okay okay, just a lil bad
I still feel a little bad cause of yesterday but I don't think it was my fault. But okay whatever. I don't feel good today as well, I have to do something. Not just rest, I need to moving. I just don't where to move, what to do and even why to do. What should I start to do
What happened yesterday? If u want to share. Maybe do something u like to do like playing guitar or gym ?!
@aTinyDroplet
@bobaa13 why are you here? Why do you care?
Because you seem like a nice person, idk I just do. I don't think you have to know someone for very long to care about them.
@aTinydroplet
@bobaa13 though you do know me, not for very long but yeah we have met before
Met before? Wdym?
@aTinyDroplet
@bobaa13 yeah, I am solar eclipse if you remember
Oh reallyyy! Yeaah i remember 😭😭
@aTinyDroplet
@bobaa13 Yeahh... I would say, don't care.. no point anyways
Whyy? Are u that much disappointed to know that I m grapes 😭
@aTinyDroplet
@bobaa13 aree, no..😭 I knew that since I saw your profile, I just had a feeling it's you. Then I saw a little bit of your journalling and just was sure since then.
Then better u don't say anything 😭..ohhh okayyy..u could have told me earlier 😭..
@aTinyDroplet
@bobaa13 whyy😭
I thought you would figure out on your own, I didn't want to yk like be in that position again. I just grow attached I guess
U should not 😭
Yeah I thought...but then I was like itna coincidence ni ho skta h 😭 so there is nothing wrong in getting attached..right ?!
@aTinyDroplet
@bobaa13 whyy not😭
Yeahh, nothing wrong in getting attached.. just not good when your friendship is stuck on just a site, nothing more
Ummmm....
Hmm that's a valid point..but it's not possible to contact offsite 😭
@aTinyDroplet
@bobaa13 yup, see that's how and why you shouldn't care
But this doesn't mean I can't care about u... Even if it's just a site still we aree friends 😭
@aTinyDroplet
@bobaa13 yeah I mean you are right. It's just I have a different perspective over things. Do you remember the last time I stopped talking? It's not cause I left, yeah I was definitely going to leave that site and I did. I just didn't do it when I told you. Maybe, I can have just some friends too but not with you. I knew I was going to get attached with you. So, I tried and I mean it's completely fine that you can't talk outside. Nothing against that, your choice. But I just can't stay just as friends like how things are, not with you. So yeah, that's all. I am not asking you to do anything, but I hope you understand what I meant. It's completely fine😭 don't worry. You don't have to do anything. Thankyou for everything you have did.
It's okay i understand..u don't have to thank mee
@aTinyDroplet
I don't have a problem to be alone, infact I like it you know. I really like spending time with myself, I really like to just do stuff by myself, I love being alone. But I just wish I wasn't alone, like if I had just one person yk, whom I know is always going to be there for me like that would be so enough for me. That's all I want, just one person to always believe in me. It's not like I don't believe in myself, I believe in myself. I am very confident about myself. It's just I believe I can reach greater heights that way.
Past came back, emptiness came back, loneliness came back, the root of suffering came back. Just when I decided to finally be alone and happy. Pushed everyone away and someone came just to ruin it. Move one step, world will push you 10 steps back
I am so scared, why did it happen..my mind feels like bursting, I just want it all to stop. Please just something break my mind, I just . It's not stopping, it's too much
