Relationship
So I broke up with this guy a few weeks ago and it didn't hurt me when I did it I felt relieved but for some reason now I'm starting to miss the bound we had before he ruined it all and acted different he didn't make time for me anymore and I would always wait for his text he would also make me uncomfortable because he would look at other girls In a lustful way and he would even let me have any guy friends or talk to any unless it was my father or brothers but when we started dating he was different and carded for me but at the end he treated me like *** and keep in mind I'm 14 and he's 19 he took advantage of me and ruined my innocence every movie we watched it would always be naked girls he would always ask me for pictures even though he was gonna look at other girls anyway I hate him for what he did to me I can't even look at another couple without feeling disgusted when's someone mentions sex or anything like that I feel uncomfortable now there's so much more he did but why do I miss him now and I need tips and advice on how to let go of him for good it was long distance I knew it would last but it felt nice for a while I feel like I'm permanently traumatised by or relationship but I still miss the good things
@fairmindedPapaya4898 Hi. How are you? I hope youre doing well.
I'm really sorry you went through that. What he did was completely wrong, and it’s not your fault at all. You were in a situation where someone older, who should have known better, took advantage of your trust and emotions. The fact that you're feeling conflicted now—missing the good moments but also recognizing how badly he treated you—is completely normal.
You might think, why you miss him? well...
- You Miss Who He Pretended to Be – In the beginning, he was kind, caring, and gave you attention. But that was never truly him. It’s natural to grieve the loss of that version of him.
- You Got Used to Having Him in Your Life – Even toxic relationships create habits. You got used to talking to him, and now that it’s gone, it feels like a void.
- The Good Moments Were Real to You – Even in bad relationships, there are moments that feel special, and it’s okay to remember them. But those moments don’t erase the bad things he did.
But beware, you need to let him go for your own good. Here's how you can do that:
- Remind Yourself of the Bad – Write down everything he did that hurt you. Any time you start missing him, read it to remind yourself why you left.
- Cut Off All Contact – Block him everywhere. No checking up on him, no responding if he reaches out. The more distance, the easier it gets.
- Talk to Someone You Trust – If you haven’t already, talk to a close friend, family member, or even a counselor. You shouldn’t have to deal with this alone.
- Focus on Yourself – Try new hobbies, spend time with friends, do things that make you happy and help you heal.
- Know That Healing Takes Time – It’s okay to feel messed up right now. You’re not broken, just hurt, and that hurt will fade with time.
You're Not Alone, 7cups will support you!
This wasn’t love—this was control, manipulation, and abuse. But you are strong, and you will heal from this. The fact that you already recognize what he did was wrong is a huge step. Keep going, keep focusing on yourself, and don’t let what he did define your future. 💛