Storm inside me

The storm inside me doesn't settle.

I feel bad. I feel bad about so many things that happened. I could have prevented a few things if I acted calmly but I was battling a madness no one knew about. I didn't know what to do. I was timid. I am timid. It's so hard to express myself. Being self aware is one thing, being confident about it is next. I had it in me all along. I just failed at delivering it. I don't want to repeat my mistakes. I want the future to be better than the past. I want love. Real honest love. I want a heartfelt connection. I want to feel less sad. I don't cry but my heart does. Most of the time. I wish I had a solution to find peace. I wish some of my fondest dreams could come true. I don't want the burden of madness. I want to quiten the noise inside me. I want to float in the sea of serenity. I want the hope to last and be fruitful.