Time Will Tell
She left me to be alone. She left me to heal from something she let get out of control. She loved me. I loved her, and still do even in this.
She wants to keep in touch, but what does that look like? We used to talk every day, but now there is silence. When will she reach out? Is it okay for me to reach out? What if we never talk again?
I hope she heals. I hope that she remembers what we had, and that it was true. I hope that she can fine the courage to reach out when she is ready. I hope that we can come back to one another. I hope that I have also healed from this hurt by then.
I don’t know her life anymore. But i know that we loved one another. I know that she loved me. What does the future hold for her? For me? For us? Time will tell.
@sunnyVase9732
You really wear your heart on your sleeve 💜💕
That's beautiful.
Its clear that you are a good person and you only want the best for her.
I hope that both of you heal and find your way back to each other 💜🥰
Nice to meet you by the way! 😊
Thank you for the kind words @Amanda84 .
I am very much hoping the same. While it’s difficult for now, of course, I think patience is the best practice for me in this time.
Nice to meet you too! 🫂
@sunnyVase9732
😁💜💕
I feel myself getting stuck in my head again. That’s the worst feeling. I get to the point where I can’t do anything besides think and think and think about the what-ifs and fantastical theoretical conversations that could happen.
I need to tell myself to push these thoughts off for later, compartmentalize them for a “worry hour”. It’s going to be difficult to do that today, but it’s what I have to do.
This is still happening nearly 50 days after the breakup. My grieving process is slow, but I’ll get there. I don’t know what the future holds and I need to find some sense of comfort in that. Stay optimistic, but keep it under control.
@sunnyVase9732
Sending you my best wishes today 💜🥰
It hurts not to hear from her. I hope that she is getting the help that she needs and his healing in the ways that she needs. I miss her quite a lot, but wish her only the best. I’m very hurt and sad, and that’s okay. It’s normal to feel this way and the feeling will hopefully lessen with time.
Patience has and always will be key for me. Whether she is genuine and there is a chance that we can reconnect in some capacity, or she finds it easier to never send a message, patience is all I can find solace in.
The reality, indefinitely, is that she thinks it is best for her to be alone. I can do nothing but honor her wishes.
Weekends are so difficult. I used to look forward to them, but now they’re just lonelier days than work days, which is saying a lot.
I wonder often how she feels, how she is doing. But it’s nothing I can know. So I have to let it be.
This past week, I’ve just been getting by. I am still able to do things like my hobbies, but it is like pulling teeth to find enjoyment out of them. A cloud of grief still sits over me, though I know it will recede with time.
My former girlfriend’s birthday is next week and I’d like to send her a well wishes card. Nothing grand, only something small. It’s been almost two months since she left to work on herself. I wonder if she looks back on us the way I do. I can’t know, nor can I know if this is a good idea. Either way, my gut tells me that it would be a nice gesture that she would appreciate. It feels right to me and god dammit I’m more than willing to risk it if it would mean anything of significance to her.
I can’t imagine how she is feeling in this chapter of her life - lonely, ashamed, scared? If she is anything like me, I am all the above and miserable because of it. I would appreciate the outreach in her position.
This week was pretty okay. I think I’m at the point where I can get through each week without breaking down multiple times. Therapy is as natural as it can be but also difficult for bringing back all of the feelings. It has been helpful to step back from the whole situation and view it from ‘afar’.
I still miss her. I still love and support her, but the reality of it is that she is gone from me. She is bettering herself. I am not powerless; I have instead given her the power to reconnect, if/when she ever has the desire. I can never truly know what she has going on, what thoughts she has, etc.. I can only know myself.
For now, my love for her has simmered to a low burn. Sometimes it flares up; sometimes it hurts. But it’s still there, and that’s comforting to me. Time will tell if we can ever rekindle anything.
I sent her a birthday card. Just a brief one to let her know I’m thinking of her. I know she’ll appreciate the card. But me thinking of her? I don’t know. Her choices and silence above all else is telling.
I’ll likely not know of any consequences. Time will tell if there is anything left with her for me, for us. I want to keep a little hope. I want to stay true to myself, while remembering to be kind to myself as well. That last bit is tough when I don’t know if what I’m doing or thinking is right, for me, for her, for anything.