Yeah welp.

I hate the fact that I'm smart.

No this is not a brag, this is a mere fact, one that I despise.

I did well in high school, good enough to pass.(I'm from UK btw) I never once revised and yet, I didn't fail a single GCSE subject (bar Spanish, but it's spanish).

I did well in collage despite having an attendance of 50-60%. (I dropped out).

I can go into heated discussions about way too many things and actually make arguable points. Imagine what I could do with some time to really research the topic.

I'm a knowledgeable person. I know facts that no normal person should know, I enjoy learning and I have a natural knack for it. I love writing essays, debates, speeches, newsletters (*** MATHS).

Anyways I hate it. Because I am riddled with so many undiagnosed mental illnesses that i've given up trying to even figure out what I have (pretty sure depression, anxiety, autism and adhd). Which yes, is no excuse for the *** show that is my life.

I dropped outta collage and now work a minimum wage job. I can't afford to move out, get my drivers license, a car.

I am smart. I could excel in so many fields of education and yet I don't have that desire. The spark, the desire to live and exist outside of barely functioning.