Journal One: Allowing myself to be vulnerable

Today:

This my my first check-in entry.

Today, I am allowing myself to feel vulnerable by allowing myself to open up.   

• While the first part of the first quarter of my first week in January was pleasant, the other three were very trying. 

- The rapid transit company, which I rely on, really tried my patience last week

1. They cancelled several trips on my bus route in which left me stranded for 30 minutes last Monday and an hour last Tuesday
2. On two separate occasions, the automated sytem got the train lines mixed up which put me on the wrong trainline. 
3. The bathroom was closed and the custodian was very unprofessional with me
4. I found out that another passenger, who I was starting to bond with was not who I thought she was.   A. She turned out to be someone who lies. B. She acts friendly so she can gather information so she can gossip.  C. She was not very supportive of my and my situation, period. 

- I decided to cut off soul ties with my toxic relatives who otherwise misstreat and take me for granted. 

1. I threw out several things they have given me 

2. They contacted me out of the blue by adding me to a group email after leaving me out.  Whenever I hear from them, it greatly upsets me.

3. I reported their email as spam  and set up other filters so I would not hear from them again.  Otherwise, I have decided to keep going no contact.

- I went up to pick out an outfit for an upcoming event next month. 

1. I tried on the dress while I was there and thought it fit

2. I tried the dress on again last Saturday only to find that it did not fit.

3. During the process, I ended up with a big scratch from the the tiny clasp that holds the dress together

- I had groceries in three paper bags last Friday 

1. One broke on the the bus

2. The other broke when I was getting out of my ride share service when finally getting home