Just what I've been going through

This is the hardest part of my life right now. Balancing a relationship that is most likely a catfish and being stuck on a dreadful antipsychotic that gives me no relief and makes me feel awful. I find it too difficult to do schoolwork and learn anything. My emotions are blunted to the point where I can't feel anything. I'm depressed and anxious as ***, and I just want it all to end. I wish it were easier to detach... Maybe if I do the correct meditation, I'll feel a lot better, but even meditation doesn't seem to do it for me. I think I'm also just overwhelmed by the load I've been taking on... Trying to make money, go to school, lose weight, work out, and have a relationship that seems futile (I don't want to elaborate, but it's terrible), and maybe what's worst of all, the medication, although the relationship is what's really killing me. Be kind, please. I know it's a situation that can be easily avoided, but it's not.