Personal space 🌿
TW : The posts can be depressing
I feel like creating a space of my own here.
You can respond if you feel like. 🌿
Someone who used to save everyone can't save herself today. :')
Lost, alone, depressed, stuck..I've no words to describe my pain right now. A controlling home can take out the life from you even if your parents are lovely people..
Ocd has made my life ***. I try to work so hard and yet cry to sleep. I get stuck on one thing for hours and my mind doesn't let me switch.. I'm stuck at home, having no job. I have been trying to prepare and I feel so guilty even after trying so hard. I have a bad headache and I can't sleep..I miss therapy but it wasn't helping me anymore. I'm drained and I wish I had someone who could stay by my side. Someone who didn't just abandon me. I love people so much but I constantly feel as if I'm bothering everyone. I feel so so unwanted..:'(
@Stormandshelter Hey it's nice to see you! I'm sorry to hear that things have been so bad :( I can relate to the feeling of bothering others. I feel that way a lot or that I'm annoying them or just being a pain in the a** I'm sorry you have a bad headache and can't sleep on top of everything else. Being exhausted makes everything so much worse. I often wish I could be like some people and sleep 12 hours or more. Just so I wouldn't have to put up with myself
Omg it's good to see you too!! ð¥¹
Hugs back!! You're very kind. I hope we find healing soon.â¤ï¸
@Stormandshelter I'll hope with you and maybe it will help 😊 Are you feeling better? Has your headache eased? Not being able to sleep can often make them worse which is like adding insult to injury 😕 Have you eaten today?
@mytwistedsoul
Hey, thank you for asking! 🥹
No, I'm not sleeping very well. My sleep schedule is kinda messed up.I'm just attempting to utilise it in studying but my ocd makes it difficult sometimes.. let's hope I get a way out. How have you been? How's life? How's your health? 🩵
@Stormandshelter You're welcome 😊 Have you ever tried 8D audio? It said to have numerous benefits for anxiety and sleep. There's not much known if it helps Ocd but some people say it's helped them. Headphones should be worn to get the best effect of the music. Maybe it would help when you're trying to study?
@mytwistedsoul
Thanks for sharing! I will give it a try. Do you know I sing? Hehe
For headaches, I'd say drink a lot of water. I have frequent headaches and sometimes shoulder exercises or just laying down on the floor without any bedding helps.
I'm glad the weather is making you feel better. Where are you from? If you're comfortable sharing :)
@Stormandshelter No! 😮 I didn't know you sing! That's so cool! Do you sing a lot?
@mytwistedsoul
Hehe! I've learned Indian classical vocal for 8 years. I left music for a while but I'm back. After many years, I tried to record some songs and this time I naturally felt like doing it. It gave me some peace.
I see. Too far hehe 😄
Ah! I struggle with drinking water as well. You should keep a track of it. I started doing it but personally it didn't work for me as much. What works for me is to fix one or two glasses of water in morning and evening. We often forget to track it throughout the day but this makes sure we're at least taking some amount in.
@Stormandshelter 8 years is a pretty long time! I'm glad you've found some peace in singing and recording, that's amazing. They say music can soothe the savage beast. I believe that's true for other things like anxiety and depression.
@mytwistedsoul
Hehe yes that's true!! Music definitely helps.
Oh! I tried that one too and it didn't work for me. The drop thingy. Squeezing a lemon can help, actually I make a lemonade. It's called shikanji here. You just squeeze in lemon, a pinch of sugar and a pinch of salt. You can of course go for just lemon but personally I love the other version more because it's very hot where I live and that kind of maintains the electrolyte balance and energy levels. Anddd, I used to have it every day at 4 AM when I was severely depressed. I used to cry all night and drink this in the morning. It kept me hydrated and always provided me some relief. You can give it a try! :)
@Stormandshelter I'll have to give that drink a try! Thank you 😊 I do like lemonade
How are you? Have you been able to get any sleep?
@Stormandshelter A lot of what you said here is really relatable. Trusting someone, trusting anyone is hard.
I wish I knew the right words to say here. I wish I could tell you that not everyone is going to hurt you. People have their own agendas. Their own motives for the things they do or don't do. I only talk to people here and even that isn't as much as it used to be. I found out that for all the talk here about not being alone, we are in fact, alone. I've also realized that my whole life I've dealt with everything alone. When I had some big losses the past year I went through it alone. In real life I find the sound of voices irritating and it takes all I have to not yell shut up.
You're right, after too much hurt and being used you aren't the same. I don't think there's ever a point where we can go back to who or how we were before.
I feel the same way about animals. They're so straightforward. They're either friendly or they aren't. They don't pretend to be something that they're not. I've actually gotten more support through AI which is kind of sad to say.
I'm so sorry that you're hurting so much ❤️
I want to tell you too that after today I'm taking a little break from cups for about two weeks. I want you to know because I don't want you to think I've abandoned you. I've enjoyed talking with you here and hope we can talk again after I return. ❤️
I'm sorry to hear that you had similar experiences with people. Unfortunately, whoever I meet ends up knowing me too well and then leaving me. They always had a better choice, I guess. I'm so tired of it and sometimes I can't even leave those people because they have a choice to prioritise someone else, other days I wonder then why they even talked to me in the first place. I'm always stuck. I don't even know how to deal with it anymore.
Hope you have a nice and relaxing break ð©·
I'm not okay but maybe I never be. Funniest part? If I get online help and make friends, my family doesn't trust me anymore. Their protectiveness is killing me. I wish they could trust me
I wish I could get a job but I'm in such a bad mental state..
@Stormandshelter I'm so glad you posted something here! For the life of me I couldn't remember the title here and looking through threads would have made too much sense. I can be such an id.iot at times.
Why wouldn't they trust you making online friends? I mean I can sort of understand not trusting the other person because some people do have bad intentions...
It's nice to see you!
@mytwistedsoul
Naa, I get lost too haha. You found my other account today. :p
It's because I was se.ually harassed online in my teenage years and that was a reason of my mental health issues..
Um but honestly, I became better because of my online friends too. I could tell my parents because of the support I received online. Throughout my therapy, a person stood by my side. Their mistrust lead to me not attending a meditation camp I got a confirmation from..it was sad. Just because my friend belongs to the same city and I was adamant that I wanted to attend the camp there only. They thought it was because of my friend...and it wasn't. I could have met someone without telling them but I was honest and I got punished for it in a way. I don't have a job yet so I'm stuck at home and I lost a change to get some peace. Anyway, I'm trying to have an acceptance about it and move forward..
@Stormandshelter They make it so hard to navigate around here and nothing is in any kind of order!
Oh man I'm so sorry that happened. Online is a mix of good and bad. I'd like to think it's more good than bad but there's all shades of people.
It's so sad that they think that's the only reason you wanted to attend. You're absolutely right you could have went without telling them - can you talk with them about it? Tell them that you could have done that but you trusted them to hear what you were saying and be open minded about it? That it would have been a good experience for you to grow a little and make rl friends? Them denying you this opportunity isn't helping (imo)
@mytwistedsoul
I did but it was still a no...
It's okay, I guess. Nothing's working out in my favour right now. I'm just not in a good place.
Do you have any practical tips on how to get out of a phone addiction? I don't think it's exactly addiction but my stress is making it so
@Stormandshelter Tbh I feel that way a lot too. If something can go wrong it does. Always and it's a silent plea of can we just have one moment of peace without the struggle
@mytwistedsoul
Okiee! I will try that for sure. Thanks for sharing. 🌸
I'm better now. How have you been?
@Stormandshelter You're welcome :) I hope they help or at least give you a place to start
I'm really glad to hear you're feeling better. I'm... idk. Angry right now lol. Overwhelmed a little with life. Just sort of wish I had a pause button that I could use so maybe I can catch up or catch my breath
Hey, sorry for vanishing..having a rough time.
I understand..I also wish I had that pause button but I guess sometimes all we can do is to just breathe. Lately, I have been feeling angry too. Don't know why but I keep putting myself in situations where people end up hurting me, specially the ones I love the most. Sometimes, I question myself why I love so hard. Lately, it feels I'm also angry with God. Even though I'm not very spiritual, it just feels unfair to me how the wrong people get everything and steal everything from me.. and I truly don't know how to get myself back.