Even though my tracker says I slept 7 hours, it was a terrible sleep at best. A lot of toss and turning, my mind needlessly racing about stupid stuff, like when I retire and I was floating around the office just saying goodbye to the few people I say hi too. I'm not retiring until the end of the year.

Uneventful rest of my day. I really need to find a way to Let Go!

I keep holding onto my feelings for the woman I walked away from. Some days I do great and not a thought but today she was all I can think about.

I even had my anxiety/depression sleep meditation running for most of the day, at times it helped clear my mind.

Just hope to get a good night's sleep in.

Great start to the day, 7hr 58m of sleep.

Thanks to Jody Whiteley whispering in my ear all night long, he sleep meditation/hypnosis on depression and anxiety really help in time of need.

I am stoked that I will allow my brain and body to reset after my half Friday at work. Going on vacation until July 9th.

Can't wait 😁

Even though I was stoked about finishing work and winding down for vacation, i was an emotional wreck for most of the day. Had to go do a follow up x-ray appointment that my doctor asked me to do. I don't think she was to happy with the first x-ray results.

Tomorrow I see my optometrist for the growth on my left eye, I think that has my anxiety up to about 8 today. I am hoping that drops or a cream will be all I need.

Think I need Jody to speak softly to me tonight.

From the time I worked up, till I had my appointment with my optometrist I was a basketcase. My nerves were shot and my anxiety was through the roof. At least the outcome was better than expected, I only need to use cortisol drops for a week but regular drops everyday from now on.

Took a while for my nerves and anxiety to calm down but eventually they did.

Lately, I have been feeling overwhelmed when I come here to 7 Cups.

Just seems like my own issues along with everyone else's issues compound and build up inside of me. I start to get over emotional and want to do nothing but curl up in a corner and cry.

I did try reaching out to a couple of Listeners, but maybe I was not patient enough. No response after 3 days, so I gave up.

I had to get away from *** because the algorithm was feeding me posts on "how to let go" or " being alone" and I could not get out of my depression while I was there.

Not sure what to do?

Spent a better part of today in the yard, gardening.

I did pop my head in, here on 7 Cups, but did not read any other posts and I feel better for it this evening.

Still unsure if stepping away completely is the right thing but I do know, I should not be on here reading posts or joining in any active groups on a daily basis.

Today is prep day.

Will be busy packing for a short vacation at my sister in law's place, 2-1/2hrs out of town. Nice big old farmhouse. 1-1/2 acres and a nice firepit for me to spend the better part of most evenings. That is where I zone out and thoroughly enjoy spending time.

Mostly uneventful day, me going by the seat of my pants. Packing and my wife making lists of everything that has to be packed and done.

Can't wait to hit the road tomorrow 😃

Well with humidity it feels like 35*C

A lot hotter than that with the fire going and slowly starting to put a small dent in the brush that had accumulated for the past year.

This is what I needed, time away from work and a place that my worries vanish. 😬