Coming out while in a relationship
Hi friends! I’m asexual / demisexual and I experience romantic attraction. I’m in a heterosexual relationship. I want to come out to my friends and family, but I’m scared that people will ask my boyfriend questions about my asexuality and make him feel weird about dating someone on the ace spectrum. I don’t know why, but it kind of bothers me that everyone assumes I’m straight. And I want to share my story to give some hope to other aces who may be feeling hopeless about relationships, like I did before I met my partner. I also want to come out to spread asexual awareness. I want to spread this positivity but I’m intimidated by the consequences of coming out. Does anyone have any advice for me? How could I make my coming out easier for my boyfriend?
Hello @HermioneLovegood
It sounds like you are nervous about coming out to your boyfriend. That's okay! It normal to be anxious in these situations. Unfortunately, you can't control how your boyfriend will feel/react. Just know that there is nothing wrong with who you are. You are not broken, and you deserve to have your identity respected. I hope everything goes well for you <3 Let me know if you want some coming out resources :)
You're anxious about coming out because of how people might react and talk to your boyfriend about it. That's a completely understandable fear! I would think about boundaries and how you might go about setting them with your friends & family so your boyfriend might be more comfortable with you coming out. If you were to bring up this topic with your boyfriend, how might he react? What advice would you give a friend in this situation? What would be the best outcome?