Demisexual? Bisexual? Abrosexual?
So I've identified as bisexual for several years and been comfortable, but recently I've started to fluctuate between biromantic demisexual and bisexual. I came across abrosexual and I'm wondering now if that's a better identity for me as someone who goes along a spectrum? Any abrosexual people who can help with this?
@LunaKisses95 Abrosexual is a bit of a tricky one, because in reality all sexualities/attractions are fluid. For example, someone who identifies as bisexual may naturally have times when they're more attracted to one gender than another, and it can change around to perhaps more attraction to a different gender another day, or even just not feeling it much for anyone at that time. That, to me, is still simply bisexual. In your case, a different term came to my mind that you may or may not resonate with: grey-asexual. I thought of this because it's a "sometimes feel attraction sometimes not" area of the ace spectrum, and that "sometimes not" portion could be demisexual rather than pure asexual. If that makes sense. It really is just the grey area between attraction and not. While for you, at least my interpretation, was that who you're attracted to doesn't really change, it's more the level of the attraction (whether it's apparent when you feel more bisexual, or whether you need some more connection when you're feeling more demisexual, but even then I'm assuming the attraction is still the same as when you're in the "bisexual" feeling). Whereas instead, abrosexual is the fluidity of who you're actually attracted to, so perhaps some days you're attracted exclusively to women, and another day it's anyone, and another day it's to androgyny, etc. But as mentioned, to me that gets a little muddied with the natural fluidity all sexualities experience :P so perhaps to someone abrosexual, it feels like very distinct categories.
All in all, how you define this is up to you. You could simply call yourself bisexual, and have natural higher and lower days of attraction, or you may use demi-bisexual, or you may end up feeling like abrosexual fits, or possibly grey-asexual (which could also be...grey-demibisexual if you really wanted to get descriptive and combine them up!). You can see how these are really just terms used to describe rough categories and can be different for everyone who uses them, so there's really no right or wrong answer, just what feels best for you :) the things you feel are the same no matter what you call them
@TaranWanderer that makes a lot of sense, thanks! Who I'm attracted to doesn't really change beyond the more towards guys and more towards girls bi spectrum, but how I'm attracted changes. Sometimes I care only about emotional connection and don't want s*x at all, and other times I want s*x and don't care about emotional connection, and other times I need emotional connection in order to want s*x, and sometimes I just want a non-sexual partner. So that to me seems more like abrosexual. But I don't want to misuse a word and then not fairly represent other people, either. I hadn't thought much about gray-sexual, actually. I feel like I actually shift between bisexual at times and not at all asexual and then shift to biromantic demisexual instead of bisexual and then shift to biromantic asexual instead of either of the other two instead of just level of attraction changing. But maybe gray-sexual is a better fit for that? I don't know.
I think i have the same problem i am a married man and have kids , like any man i am attracted ti female but i still think and attract to male , is that normal or i have a problem ???
@Sailingwithoutshore you might have bisexual tendencies or be bisexual
@LunaKisses95
Thanks for your concern ,what is your opinion do you see it a problem ? What i can do about that ?
@Sailingwithoutshore well, do you love your wife? It sounds like something that the two of you should talk about. But ultimately, if you're married and you love your wife, does it matter that you find men attractive any more than that you find women attractive but are now married to only one?
@LunaKisses95 yes i love her
@Sailingwithoutshore so then does it matter if you also feel attraction to men? In your place, I would simply focus on my marriage and not consider it a problem.
@LunaKisses95
So i should leave myself get attracted to male ir i should stop?
@Sailingwithoutshore read their replies again dude, slowly. At this point it's not about your sexuality, but your commitment.
@Sailingwithoutshore I don't think I can tell you what you should do. But my point is that if you love your wife, does it really matter if you also find men attractive, any more than you find women attractive? You love her, and you want to be faithful to her, so why worry about it?