How do you figure out your romantic orientation when you're asexual??
I am almost certain that I am asexual, but have been questioning my romantic orientation. Normally, I would be able to look at blogs, talk to the people around me, and take Am I Gay quizzes (cliche, I know) until something clicked, but all the stuff is about being sexually attracted to certain genders. None of it applies to me, so how can I know whether I'm romantically attracted to a certain gender or not?
Specifically, I thought I was biromantic but I'm wondering whether I might just be attracted to women and NB people, or whether I don't like anyone. I've struggled having relationships with men, but haven't had any experiences with people of other genders. I don't want to enter a relationship just for experimentation (that would be really inconsiderate), but there's really no other way to figure out my orientation. Does anyone have advice, or have you been in a similar situation?
Here's a genuine question, why does it matter? Why not just live your life and if you start feeling romantic feelings for someone, there you go? No amount of reading stuff online is really a substitute for just living and experiencing naturally. Plus if you're young, things could change anyways, so even quizzes or other online things that seem to fit now might change in the future as you yourself change as you grow. It makes more sense to just live and feel what you feel when it comes up, than needing to find some arbitrary term
@ambiguouslyTee
Hey there, may I call you Tee?
I came across your post and noticed it brought up an excellent question. The question is, as an asexual person, "How can I know whether I'm romantically attracted to a certain gender or not."
You bring up a few great points when you talk about what people who are sexually attracted to others do to figure out their "type." And you are right to notice that most information online targets sexuality and not what romantic asexual relationships look like.
I know you said that you don't want to enter a relationship just for experimentation which is fair and could seem a little disingenuous. However, life can be seen as an experiment, and we can try things out to see if they work while remaining honest with our romantic partners. Also, it is more than fair to decide later that it doesn't work for you.
Remaining open to new experiences and working on self-love is often the best path to healthy relationships. When we meet people and get to know them, these things often have a way of working themselves out.
It's probably very generic-sounding advice. So I encourage you to find other ways that may support you best in figuring out what works for you.
Also, if these new people you meet do not feel romantic to you, fostering honesty and trust can be a great way to make another friend, and it never hurts to have more of those.
I hope you know that you are not alone. Regarding building community, I am hosting a fun discussion on Tuesday, March 28 (28/03/23) at 14:00 ET called "Life on the Spectrum." Please feel free to drop by and meet some of the other 7 Cups LGBTQ+/MOGII community members. Also, this room is active a lot, so feel free to come by and introduce yourself to the other members there anytime.
Please count on me to support you through your investigation into this tricky question, and I look forward to your response.
All the best and take care,
❤️🧡💛💚💙💜@broadfemmelovelive