how to support partner with unsupportive family

My ex and I were together for about 4 years and recently broke up. He told me he still loves me, wishes he could be with me, and that his desire to be with me is actually still there, but said he mentally cannot handle being in a relationship right now. He said he needs to be single and on his own to “get his life back on track” and stop feeling constantly anxious or scared about what’s coming next. A major part of this is his mental health and a difficult family situation surrounding our relationship.

He said he’s emotionally drained and has nothing left to give. He also told me that talking to me feels really good in the moment, but afterward he spirals because he lets himself “have a little bit” of me while knowing he “can’t have a lot.” He ultimately asked for no contact because he said it was the only way he could actually move on.

We did have relationship problems too. I spent much of the past year dealing with severe chronic pain and eventually major surgery, which made me much more anxious, dependent, and reactive than I normally am. He became increasingly withdrawn and less affectionate, and resentment built up on both sides. Since recovering physically and having time apart, I’m realizing both how much my health affected my behavior and how many things between us we never properly communicated.

Our final conversation was basically me crying and begging him not to leave, so we never really had a calm conversation about any of this. I’m considering giving him 3-4 weeks of complete space and then asking once if he’d be open to talking. I wouldn’t necessarily be asking him to get back together, but after four years I’d like to have one conversation where we’re both less emotional and can actually understand what happened.

If reconciliation ever came up mutually, I wouldn’t want to jump back into the old relationship. I’d want us to start from scratch, live independently, go on dates again, and see whether the relationship feels different now that our circumstances are different.

Would you reach out once after giving it some time, or leave it entirely up to him since he asked for no contact?