Am I the only one to feel this way ??
Hello all so I got out of a relationship that we were in for over 4 years and this was my very first serious relationship and I’m having the hardest time moving on we haven’t been together since July 2019 but every time we end up talking again I automatically want to be back with him and he doesn’t really want me but he will play with my feelings so that he can try and benefit from me I mean I feel like he loves me and I know I love him but I feel like he has moved on and he really has he has a new partner and all but he makes me feel like I still have a chance with him ... it also doesn’t help that he is very attractive and I’m not very attractive I mean I don’t think I am and a lot of people have been mean and said things like that to me that I’m not cute or anything so I just kinda accept that and live life ... idk what else to say I’m confused I’m hurt I’m alone I need some help or support because I wanna be back to life I wanna smile again I’m lonely and it sucks because everyone I end up talking to I end up starting to fall for and that doesn’t help either so basically I just stay to myself and life shouldn’t be like this !!
@plzhelp805 what you describe is a difficult situation to be in. I hope you find someone true, genuine and deserving of you. Sending you hugs and kindness.
Thank you
thank you for sharing, this is incredibly brave of you!
@plzhelp805 I'm so sorry you're having to deal with something like that. Toxic relationships are so damaging in ways most of us can't ever really understand. My recommendation is to have someone you trust be an accountability partner. Discuss this with them in depth on how you want to move on but your urges keep dragging you back to this toxic person and you need help to not go back to them. If they are a good friend they will likely support you and then you'll just need to be honest with them. Every time you have the urge to talk to them, tell your accountability partner. See what they think about it, how they feel about it, etc. Most of the time they will give you good advice and help to build up your self-esteem to repair any damaged done and be good for you. As long as you are honest and don't hide anything from them they will usually help support you and they will also tell you if it gets to be too much for them to handle and be the first person to urge you towards getting professional help if needed. Another tip I can give would be to invest yourself into developing your hobbies. If you like art try going to a community painting class, if you like reading join a book club or buy that new novel you've been eyeing, if you like jogging start taking a morning jog every day, if you don't have any hobbies yet try some new things and see if anything sticks. Filling up your life with new exciting things and becoming busier means less time for your thoughts to drift back to Mr. Toxic and more time for yourself. I'd also look into positive self-talk and try saying 4 or 5 good things about yourself in the mirror every day and trying to stop yourself when you start bagging on yourself. I had this issue myself and it was a hellish habit to break. I'd have to stop saying 'I'm so stupid' and 'why am I such a screw-up' and I would have to stop and go 'Okay I made a mistake. I thought it was a dumb mistake but anyone could have made it' or 'I can't believe I made such a mistake. I'll try better next time' and it really helped me to forgive myself and change my views towards myself over time.