Questioning/realizing feelings for a close friend

I don't even know where to begin. But to begin, I always thought I was straight until I started realizing that the way I feel about one of my friends is a lot more than "just friends" feelings and it has changed me ever since. I haven't been myself to the point where people noticed and asked me if I was okay. What happened was that I always found myself feeling happier around them, wanting to spend time with them. they make me feel more alive than anyone I know. i always look forward to things that they are involved in just because I get to see them. This lasted a couple of months until I realized the way I feel is too intense to be considered as love for a friend.

we have been becoming closer and closer friends over the last months and I love every minute of it. I am scared to mention anything because I don't want to ruin the way things are going and the friendship. I get anxious because I would rather keep things the way they are right now than making things more complicated by bringing up how I feel. They're not straight so that is not the issue. It is the fear of messing up a good relationship that's been growing to be one of my most cherished relationships. It's also the fear of how intense I feel for them. and lastly, we live pretty far away so I don't think it's worth jepordizing things.

so I just feel lost honestly and don't know what to do. I want to shake the feelings way but they seem to be too strong. But I seriously have not been myself ever since I realized my feelings and I really want to go back to normal and not thinking about one person every second of every day.