What Changed?

I am not sure at one point in my life I felt more bi-curious but I do recall in my teens getting angry with someone at work that assumed I had a boyfriend even though at that point I never had any thoughts of being with a male. Then again when I was in my 20s I recall a few people thinking I was gay because I was volunteering with my church and 1-2 of the youth asked me if I was gay cause I didn’t have a girlfriend, that time I was not upset but it made me wonder over the years why people keep asking me that? Even when I had traveled overseas I remember being in Ireland and getting casually hit on by a much older gentleman with a heavy accent who had paid for my beer but he gave me the money. He didnt pay the bartender, it was very awkward. And another person who could not speak but handed me a note when I was at a pub with two other hostelers from the US. All this being said after all that time had passed many dates, few girlfriends, and then after cybering for years online talking to both guys and gals I got into bdsm a little, even went to a dungeon which was cool. The weird thing about that was I remember meeting a Pastor at the dungeon which threw me back a little, I had already stopped being involved with church volunteering at that point. So after that visit at the dungeon I was talking with online Doms/Dommes for all you uninformed it means Dominant; the former for Men and the latter for Women but i imagine that has changed a ton with the fluidity in human sexuality these days. I started getting into crossdressing, mostly for the undergarments, love lacy stuff. I even met a few men and experienced some stuff on that end but I only did that when i was drinking, possibly if i was clear i would not have done it. I do not regret it at all. Its part of my life experience. Now I am married to a wonderful cys woman but our marriage isnt perfect and neither are we. I don’t know what i want after everything we both have gone through. The pandemic, the isolation, i feel alone mostly like no one really understands me and id be better off alone like the Alice Deejay song from the late 90s. Thank you for reading and bless you all wonderful people!