i’m scared of coming out
i’ve came out before when i was like 9.. and now that i’m older (still a minor) my sexuality has changed. my parents aren’t homophobic, but the last time i came out they looked uncomfortable, and would stop asking me, “are you sure?” “do you really like girls?” and i don’t want that to happen again. to be fair, like 2 years ago i kissed the same girl many times and we were in the fifth grade. i didn’t tell my parents at first, but when i did they weren’t too happy because the girl’s parents found out after they overheard her telling her friends. the earliest time i kissed a girl was in 2nd or 3rd grade. on a school bus to a field trip with my best friend, quinn.
i just need help. i’m overwhelmed, i’m probably oversharing, i’m young, and i’m scared, no, terrified. help.
@paigeypaigeington
Coming out can be a challenging experience, even if we aren't met with outright hatred or non-acceptance, it doesn't always mean the experience is pleasant. It sounds like you know that first hand. I've found the questions about 'are you sure' and such can often come from a place of concern and wanting to protect you rather than doubting your sincerity, but they can still hurt.
Often my first concern when someone is coming out, especially someone who is still a minor is their safety and security. I would never want someone's coming out to cost them their home. In your case it sounds like you may instead face a lot of awkward questions and/or constantly be forced to justify or reaffirm your identity. Would that be accurate?
Further, are you concerned the re-coming out with a new term may make their doubts larger or more persistent this time? Personally, I try to look at it as even if it's not your forever truth, it's your truth as you understand it and are living it now. Basically, it doesn't have to be permanent to be real and valid.
Some questions to consider:
Do you think if you were to address that previous experience and how it made you feel as part of coming out this time, it may lead to a different or better result?
If the results were the same, how could you cope with that?
Are there other options to coming out that would work better for you?
